Pre-Freshers say the darndest things

‘Best’ of the 2014 Offer Holders Group


Remember that time you actually liked science? When you looked forward to studying engineering? When you had hopes, dreams, and living in London struck you as exciting as opposed to sounding really, really expensive?

Those days of innocence, those days of grace; the summer before going to uni was truly wonderful. You’d look forward to coming to uni and making new friends instead of counting down the months/weeks/days/hours until exams/ finally getting out of this godforsaken place. And you’d be so agonisingly keen for it all. Eugh.

So we’ve been on the lookout for these pre-Freshers’ follies and addressed these and their questions about life and love, but primarily uni. They are nothing we’ve not all done before but by God they can be cringe-worthy…

This excitement, it won't last. You are a year away from being embittered and hating your subject

This excitement… it won’t last. You are a year away from embitterment and a festering hatred of Imperial and Science.

This banter is incredible... Just incredible

OMG INCREDIBLE BANTER

Could someone kindly kill it with fire? Also, "enginerding" isn't a phrase actually used for keen people.

Could someone kindly kill it with fire? Also, “enginerding” isn’t a real word we actually use.

Don't get too hung up on it... in a few months 60% will be the new 95%

This time next year 60% will be the new 95%

Hitting the minutiae of Maths problems... great fun in tutorials

Unbelievable comment tekkers! Asking questions in lectures also makes you really popular!

Yep this is only going to get more frequent in the years to come...

A feeling which is only going to get more frequent in the years to come…

As will these. Club promoters imitating official pages/groups to promote their shitty nights.

As will these. Club promoters imitating official pages/groups to promote their shitty nights.

A levels: prime conversation point for the first week of term and never, ever again

A levels: the prime conversation topic for the first two weeks of first term and never, ever again.

Good to see this "classic" circulating nice and early?

Good to see this circulating nice and early?

And the racism. Yep, that's a thing. A thing that really, really shouldn't be a thing at all.

Same for this? BTW, definitely racist (the author was removed from the group, rightly)

[check the location for the post]. Don’t play up to it either…

And the misogyny! But yes, it does have a squat rack, if not any girls who'd consider getting with you.

And the misogyny! Yes, it does have a squat rack, if not any girls who’d consider getting with anyone who talks like that (in jest or otherwise)

Wrong answer. The Student Room is of no use once you get to uni, it's cringe and annoying. Actual answer: every halls has may different types of people to suit you, if not your course/clubs & societies/generally out and about will do.

Go to TSR? Wrong answer. The Student Room is of no use once you get to uni, it’s just cringe-worthy and annoying (moreso than previously)

Avoid Wilson House unless you like your mushrooms a bit… fresh

Try our Halls Quiz here to find out so you know which fits your personality as well as your budget.

Past papers? Get used to having two at most (if you're lucky to have any at all)

Past papers? Yeah lots of us don’t get given those…

It's closing.

The Scoop on Evelyn? It’s closing.

Being annoyed at league tables is something of a hobby for many of us

Being annoyed at league tables is something of a hobby for current students too

They carry promise and a degree of annoyance like all freshers before them.We saw people talking about wanting to go into finance, agonising chatter about joining clubs and societies, and meeting up with future coursemates (yep that always ends well) as one expects and the school to uni transition is hard (cooking your own food, washing up, and dealing with club promoters) and shapes/mentally scars us all.

They’ll probably be fine, even if the group itself is rather… mundane.