What RuPaul’s Drag Race teaches us about life

Can I get an amen?

RuPaul’s drag race is the best thing in life. The show combines sassy gay men, ridiculous challenges and “lip-syncing for your life” into one perfectly packaged, unashamedly tacky, camp-as-Christmas TV show. You will not know the meaning of the term “binge-watch” until you have seen this show. It will change your life and make you a better person. The “olympics of drag” teaches us important life-lessons. It’s not just a show, it’s a lifestyle. And it’s fabulous darling.

Drag Queens should be in charge of naming everyone 

There all wonderfully classy ladies with names like Penny Tration

They’re all wonderfully classy ladies with wonderfully classy names like Penny Tration

They all have wonderfully crude, catchy and original drag names. Suddenly an ordinary man called Karl Westerberg can become a gorgeous diva called Manila Luzon. You know you’re in for a treat when you’re watching people with names like Mimi Imfurst, Shangela Laquifa Wadley and Alaska Thunderfuck 5000. Imagine what the world would be like if we all were given drag monikers. It would definitely be a better place.

Drag Queens all have charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent

I’m gagging on their Eleganza.

Drag Queens always serve something (and it doesn’t always have to be fish)

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What’s the T?

Look up their run-way looks. Queens like Jiggly Caliente often wear everything and anything they can find; Queens like Willam wear nothing at all. One of the great things about Drag Race is that we get to see all cool different types of drag and form an appreciation of all things drag.

The coolest way to talk is drag-language, aka draguage

Hunty: An affectionate term. An amalgamation of “honey” and the c word.

Tuck: To get rid of the crown jewels to fully complete the female illusion. It truly illustrates their commitment to the cause.

Tea: Gossip, news etc. No T No Shade.

Read:  To insult others. Bianca Del Rio is the best reader of them all, so much so that you actually want to be read by her. It’s only acceptable to read others when the library is open.

Fish: To be a fishy queen is to look uber-feminine. Carmen Carrera, Vivienne Pinay and Courtenay Act are all super-fishy queens.

Kiki: To hang out or have sex with someone. I would like to Kiki with Michelle Visage.

You’ll shout Halleloo when it’s the Snatch Game episode

It's just so civilised

It’s just so civilised

In no other universe would you see Dame Maggie Smith chastising Nicki Minaj with burns like “excuse me, we originated the language”. Witness Cher changing her wigs, and an awkward encounter between Little Edie Beale (cousin of Jackie-O) and Marilyn Monroe (banged Jackie-O’s husband). It’s surreal yet beautiful at the same time.

Men make prettier women than women do

When I showed one of my hetrosexual male friends a picture of Courtenay Act, the response was “she’s really hot”. And she is. Like a 10/10 seriously. I hate her.

Drag may not be a contact-sport, but Drag ho-downs are the best

When lip-syncs turn ugly

When lip-syncs turn ugly

The Alyssa Edwards and Coco Montrese rivalry was a soap opera. There was so much HERstory (see what I did there?) that there could have been a TV show made just about these two. And then there was the hoe-downs of the Idols in season six with Adore Delano (Partaaaay) and Courtenay Act. Oh the wonderful shade of it all. They’re as scheming as girls but still have the brazen male ‘come-and-fight-me’ thing going on. And when they’re competing to become ‘America’s Next Drag Superstar’, there are some really entertaining clashes.

Watching the Lip-Syncing for your Life is the most intense experience you’ll ever have

Always to the most diva-licious songs, the Queens sync for their lives. Wigs fly everywhere, nudity can happen and you will see a lot of tears. It can be emotionally draining entertainment.

Remember it’s all water off a duck’s back

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Drag Race can be surprisingly worldly wise too

Drag Race favourite Jinkx Monsoon’s inspirational motto every time she got critiqued. It worked out well for her, so we reckon it can work out well for you too. Every time somebody throws you shade, remind yourself that it’s all water off a duck’s back.

And we’re still waiting on a UK Drag Race

It’s a guaranteed ratings hit – maybe Eddie Izzard could do it and add some biting British wit.

If you can’t love yourself, how the HELL are you gonna love somebody else?

A family that drags together stays together

A family that drags together stays together

Can I get an amen?