Forget Cheltenham, Gloucester is the shining jewel in the South West’s crown

Too long have we been known as Cheltenham’s bad-looking neighbour. Too long have people seen us as the speck in the South-West’s crown – we’re actually the jewel. Ignorant commentators have described the only highlight of the Gloucester city center is the Primark. A woefully inaccurate conclusion considering the city contains a 1,300 year old cathedral, historic docks and rugby. To the people that describe us as a shithole, we say that our charm is unique and our values are strong.

Nobody appreciates how great it is to live in Gloucester. We Gloucester folk have plenty of merits. Being sandwiched between the West Country and the West Midlands is perhaps enough to drive any person insane. Not us – instead we have carved our own identity and created what can only be described as the greatest city of all time. From the Docks to the Cathedral, Longlevens to Tuffley, it’s time to appreciate Glevum for its greatness.

It’s the Cherry (and Whites) on top of the cake

Gloucester loves rugby. Rugby loves Gloucester. So we may be languishing mid-table at the moment, but it’s a mere blip. You only have to visit Kingsholm on game-day to understand Gloucester is truly the ONLY rugby team to support. If you haven’t experienced and been terrified by the violent passion that is eminent in the Shed terrace then you haven’t lived. Every try, every kick, every conversion, every lineout is met with a chorus of raucous cheers, boos and colourful language. Good luck if you support Bath. You don’t have to be a rugby fan to enjoy the drama of the Crossbar Challenge. And you probably know half of the ball boys from your year at school.

Unappreciated areas of ‘natural’ beauty

Barton Street, Eastgate Street, even the city centre. At some point the nay-sayers (namely people who have never spent much time in Gloucester) have decried these areas as dangerous areas which should be avoided, but all contain the very essence that runs through Gloucester: community. These areas still have the worst reputations in the area. Barton Street contains old pubs and new takeaway joints: the perfect combination for a night out. It’s time to shake off these stigmas and feel the Gloucester love.

 More appreciated areas of natural beauty

Is there anything more perfect than the sunset on Robinswood Hill? Even when you’re traipsing through the mud after a day of rain, navigating your way through the various trails and picking up Topsy the dog’s dreadful poo – it’s a wonderful maze of trees, fields and rabbit poo. It’s also fun celebrating being at the highest point in Gloucester and feeling demi-godlike. You’ll try and climb the statues just to reassert your self-imposed legendary status. It’s not even that much of a walk – and totally worth it just to try and find your house from up high.

We’re not BORE-ing

It’s the Severn Bore. Yes it is an ominous name, when you were younger you probably thought this was Gloucester’s version of the Lochness Monster. It’s not: it’s so much more. Described as “a natural wonder of the world”, the Severn Bore is a large surge wave that has the “second-largest tidal range in the world” (whatever that means). It can reach up to 50 feet.

Severn-th heaven

The River Severn runs through Gloucester. It’s the longest river in the United Kingdom. Say what you will about us but we have that.

It’s all good Quays-side

The main difficulty with being dubbed a “designer outlet” is the hype it causes. Who knew that Next, Gap and even the White Stuff was actually “designer”? Yes you may never find anything that you want/that’s in your size – but it has a Cadbury shop. You can buy Mis-shapes without even having to travel to Cadbury World. That’s incredibly exciting. They also have some rather nice festivals at certain times of the year. I think one year they may have had Paul Hollywood. And Gok Wan opened it.

Sitting at the Dock(s) of the bay

Gloucester Docks is the unsung hero of the city. Whether you’re swanky enough to have one of the harbour apartments that envelope the docks or go to Friday night drinks at Fosters or the posh Wetherspoons, it’s a rite of passage  you’ll visit and admire the Docks. By day it’s rather refreshing to walk along the canal side and there’s the permanent influx of canal boats with typical canal-boaty names. You’ll wonder if you’ll ever find the time or effort to step aboard the old boats that’s anchored near Gloucester College (and is always being worked on). If you don’t fancy any of that there’s always the cinema.

There’s no way like Café Rene

Where can you find a really cool music venue/cafe/nightclub that is literally 10 feet away from a graveyard? In Gloucester you can. You immediately rack up the indie points when you step into Gloucester’s grooviest live music venue. By day it’s a rather jolly café, by night it serves dinner and by night-night it doubles as a club/music venue/ “I’m-more-hipster-than-you” hangout. Possibly the greatest place (within the greatest city) in the whole world.

We’re Rollin’ Rollin’ Rollin’

Normal un-Gloucester folk would cower with fear when faced with the prospect of chasing 9lb block of Double Gloucester down Cooper’s Hill. Not us. We relish the prospect of heavy bruising and broken bones all in the name of cheese. In 2015 it’s estimated 4,000 of us crazy locals turned out to cheer on the even crazier participants. We care not for futile health and safety standards. We are the brave people of Gloucester. And we take our cheese very seriously.

We’re actually a very intelligent city

We have four grammar schools. Four. That’s a lot of clever kids for a small city.

Then there’s the added twist of the Ribston Hall vs. High School/Denmark Road rivalry. The city may be friendly but those two really hate each other. Teenage girl hormones accompanied with academic rivalry give a whole new meaning to the mean girls’ attitude. Even the teachers hate each other.

P.S. Ribston is obviously the best.

Our cathedral is magical (literally)

To start with it’s a 1,400-year-old cathedral, so major kudos there. It’s also incredible beautiful and contains a lot (I mean a hell of a lot) of history. King Edward II is buried there and it has a 1,350 year old window the size of a tennis court. It’s also doubled as Hogwarts: Harry Potter was partially filmed in the Cathedral, with the students of one of the posh schools being used as fellow witches and wizards. You probably saw a friend of a friend’s cousin playing a Ravenclaw third-year in the Chamber of Secrets.

Services like no other

Richard Graham MP, described our services as the “poshest services in the country”. Even if you’re passing through on your way to a weekend break in Cornwall, a stop at the new Gloucester Service station will be the highlight of the whole of your holiday. Yes, it’s ridiculously extortionate. But you don’t care. It’s a service station that looks like a bijoux mall in Los Angeles, except it’s in Gloucester. Mind blown. Locals have been known to brave the M5 just to pick up their cherry genoa, such is it’s sheer loveliness.The exposed wood beams, the fresh cake display and the fudge pick’n’mix (yes – you read right – a FUDGE pick’n’mix: I like the pistachio) is like stepping into a “we saw you coming” dream.

Gloucester vs. Stroud and Cheltenham

We may not have the anatomically interesting statue the Cheltenham has on the prom, or the free-loving hippie vibe of the enigma that is the Stroud-lands. We may not have our own Waitrose. But we embrace that.

Perhaps it’s important to acknowledge the “base” of the Gloucester/Stroud/Cheltenham triumvirate is Gloucester. You can adorn the smaller, less important townships with all the Waitroses/Rainbow Houses you want; we’re still more important.