When will everyone stop hating on English students?

I’m sick of being asked if I’m going to become a teacher


Every course suffers its stereotypes. Look at Drama’s jazz hands, Music’s sensitive souls, Psychology’s “fake science”. Some of them are mean and others are so damn true they just can’t be denied. But English is undoubtedly the worst. I’m sick of the falsities behind some of the accusations about my beloved degree. They need to stop.

Apparently we’re all library rats

Enter the library at any time on any day and you are guaranteed to find an English student either shuffling between the shelves in the “rare books” section or weeping over their computer. It’s not a glamorous life to lead, but they say all the great writers were tortured, right? Sure, we’re in the library a lot, but we’re just tending to our budding creative genius. It’s clearly the reason we push ourselves to the limits pulling all-nighters at the last minute before our deadlines.

Only the views of a misty Hull in winter can inspire the desperate English student

Only the views of a misty Hull in winter can inspire the desperate English student

Or we’re all hopeless romantics

If you believed everything you heard about English students, you’d think we spend all our time trawling through Keats’s poems while sipping tea in vintage coffee shops and tending to o

Alright, so this one might be a little bit true. But who doesn’t enjoy a hot Dirty Chai while looking out onto a drizzly Newland Ave from behind the steamy glass of The English Muse? But if you think I’m reading poetry you’ve got another thing coming. I want to relax, not strain my already overworked brain by tumbling over the words of Byron. Give me this month’s edition of Vogue any day.

'Such aesthetic!': What really happens on your cute coffeeshop study breaks

‘Such aesthetic!’: What really happens on your cute coffeeshop study breaks

We’re all bookworms

My shelves may be stacked with tomes, literature reviews and the odd dictionary or thesaurus, but have I opened a single one of them this semester? No. Oh, I love to read, don’t get me wrong. But we all know how it feels to be told to do something you enjoy, and told to do it a certain way. It’s the same with reading. What used to be a way to escape the dull drag of everyday life has actually become one of my everyday stresses.

They only look well-read because they were bought secondhand...

They only look well-read because they were bought secondhand

We’re nasty grammar Nazis

There’s not a single English student who doesn’t feel the urge to correct their friend’s appalling grammar, whether that be in text or in conversation. But it’s an urge we keep tightly under wraps. It’s pretentious, rude and just really not helpful. Most of us know not to be “that arsehole” and instead keep it to ourselves.

Why is it so hard to grasp?!

Why is it so hard to grasp?!

Occasionally it can just get too much though. Come on guys: they’re, their, and there.

We’re really deep thinkers

Look, we’re not philosophy students, nor are we literary theorists. Attempting to read Homer’s Iliad doesn’t mean I understand the damn thing.

I have no idea what this Homer guy is saying

I have no idea what this Homer guy is saying

We all want to be teachers

No. I do not want to be a teacher. Please don’t even suggest it. There are one hundred different directions I could take with my English degree, and I can’t deal with kids. Teaching is the last thing on my mind. Please stop assuming I want to teach.