Hull will always be way, way better than Oxbridge
Holla Philip Larkin
It’s that seminal moment in Blackadder: “I’d ask whether he’d been to one of the great British universities Oxford, Cambridge, or Hull”.
But while you mock and belittle our university and the quality of our education, you forget we’re actually the best university in the country. Hull has character, it’s quaint, and it’s inYorkshire.
Chip spice
The much-revered Chip Spice is a staple of any Hull-dweller’s diet
As soon as you get to Hull – especially if you befriend some locals – you’ll find most of your meals coated in a mix of herbs and spices even better than the Colonel’s. Contrary to its name, you can put it on almost anything. Some people top their pizzas with it, while others use it to season pasta, but you’ll mostly find it on top of some cheesy chips after a night out.
While the typical Oxbridge student is having to dress-up (effort) for fancy formal dinners in their uber-swanky colleges, we can happily rock up to The Lawns bar in our pyjamas for some “interesting” delicacies.
Culture
Even our telephone boxes have character
Not only is it City of Culture 2017, but it’s home to the Bee Lady, who has her very own telephone box, Philip Larkin, poet and former librarian at the University, and The Housemartins, a band your Dad probably listens to. There’s also a street called the Land of Green Ginger, the smallest window in England, and the world’s only Submarium, the Deep.
Some may say Oxbridge offers such institutions as the Bodleian and comedy troupe the Cambridge Footlights, but to you dissenters we offer Brynmor Jones library and Welly. We also have a fuck load of bridges, Hull Fair and PIE.
History
Philip Larkin, dubbed ‘England’s other poet Laureate’, was university librarian from 1955 to his death in 1985
You could say we have outstanding moral fibre: Hull is also the birthplace of William Wilberforce, that kid who led the movement to abolish the slave trade.
The city used to flood a lot as well, leaving some residents with no choice but to canoe down their very own road. Who needs Oxbridge’s boat race? It’s just usual public transport for us.
John Prescott was Hull’s MP until 2010 – and he’s pretty cool in a bonking-the-secretary/punching-the-public kind of way.
Alumni
Hull: Home of champions
So what if 40 out of the 53 prime ministers of the UK have attended Oxbridge? Yes cultural icons like Stephen Fry, David Dimbleby and Rachel Riley may have Oxbridge degrees – but we do have Dame Jenni Murray, Mark “Chappers” Chapman (esteemed presenter of Match of the Day 2) and even journalist John McCarthy (immortalised by the university with the Johnny Mac bar).
And with us as the current cohort of Hull students, The Tab is confident there will soon be additions to that notable alumni list. Oxbridge, we’re coming for you.