How to spot a posh boy at Hull
It’s so much more than the north/south divide
Connie FredricksonThey’re smooth-talking, ever-so-charming and highly confident, leaving a trail of broken hearts in their wake.
They never forget the “t” at the end of a word, and chastise you if you forget yours. They have such a good command of Received Pronunciation they could be related to the Windsors. Yes, they may be attempting to “slum-it” here in Hull – but there are certain clues to ensure that you are perfectly equipped to identify a Posh Boy at Hull University.
Their name
A posh title is an instant giveaway. Is it preppy? Would it be a name you could hear in the hallowed halls of Eton? If they’re called George, William or Hugo, you’re probably onto a winner.
When trying to chat you up in Asylum, they may disguise their name with a shortened version to make themselves seem a bit more endearing and working class. Maybe they think it sounds more rugged or makes them look like a bad boy. Thomas will become Tommy, a Matthew will become Matt and a Daniel will become a Dan.
Their clothes
If said boy is parading through uni in a Ralph Lauren shirt and a Jack Wills tweed, or casually whacks out the Barbour coat every now and again, he’s definitely a potential candidate for a Posh Boy. While most of us have to make do with our sink washed jeans and our stained University of Hull hoodies for lectures, posh boys will turn up in all the gear, making us all look like peasants.
George and Rory, both second-year Chemistry students, always impeccably dressed, have the uncanny ability to colour co-ordinate with their drinks
Their accent
They will have excellent diction as a result of all those years of private school education. Are they southern? It goes with the territory any southerner in a northern university will almost always be earmarked as posh. As a general rule, not all southern boys are posh boys, but all posh boys are southern.
Hobbies
They are ALWAYS in a sports society, so they know pretty much every other person in Asylum. Particular societies, which hold the most magnetism for PBs, are Rugby Union, Tennis/Badminton and Boat Club.
They are highly sociable creatures – many are out on a Wednesday night – dressed in whatever ridiculous themed attire their cunning social sec has managed to conjure up for that week, running around after the Netball girls like a pack of hounds on the hunt.
Culture
He will probably have a wide and diverse music taste: Daddy definitely exposed him to artists ranging from The Beatles to Bowie, Simone to Sinatra, with a bit of Bach thrown in for good measure. He’ll karaoke to the Arctic Monkeys and he’ll secretly listen to (and love) Katy Perry. A friend tells me while one PB was romancing her he would speak to her in Spanish, before putting on swing music.
His family may have a villa in the South of France, or a Chalet in Klosters (they ski regularly) – or perhaps a home in the Cotswolds (listed – of course). Did they have a gap-yah where they back-packed across Thailand or Nepal to “find themselves” and got a really shit tattoo in the process?
Just a day on the boat with the lads: Ray-Ban donning Jack Roberts bottom left, 21, in in his second year doing American Studies at Hull
Charm
His behaviour is anything but gentlemanly – yet PBs in particular are disconcertingly charming and lovely. They are as smooth as silk – well versed in the art of conversation. Some are also embracing their rebellious streak with gusto, whether it be drinking themselves silly in Asylum, sleeping with as many girls as humanly possible or trying to convince poor Mummy to pay for them to go on tour.
Gadgets and gizmos
I mean, really, who brings a coffee machine to uni? Who has a car with a personalised numberplate at this age? Many of these PBs supplement the obligatory work laptops with an array of needless and expensive gadgetry. “We all have iPads and iPhones…and my dad gave me his old Bose sound system” says Rory Beard, a second year Chemistry student. Rory also has a car (which his parents pay for) AND a motorbike (don’t worry – he pays for that).
Lovely Matt, second-year Bio-medical student, loves his posh coffee
Food and wine
If you ever go to their house, the groceries will be from Waitrose and snacks will be Duchy Originals. “If we eat crisps, we stick to Walkers or maybe stretch to Sensations or Doritos if they’re on offer”. Rory also likes Tyrells and Kettle Chips.
They like cheese, but not just any old cheese. It has to be “extra mature” – unlike them – and there’s a cheese for every occasion too. While we’re downing the last of the Lambrini, they’re having full-on wine night: “We love a good wine night, I always go for Cahors or a Rioja”.