What your Byres Road supermarket says about you

Let’s face it, one of the first things you noticed about Byres Road when you moved to the West End was that it has a billion supermarkets in close proximity. It’s all a bit overwhelming. Whether you prefer the finer things in life (and the free coffee) and browse the aisles in Waitrose, or whether you love a finding a reduced bargain from Tesco after perusing the shelves for ages, here’s what your favourite supermarket says about you.

Marks and Spencer

Jealous?

If you’re shopping in M&S then you’re winning at life. People that shop at Marks and Sparks are those annoyingly successful individuals that really have their shit together and seem to be the best at everything they do. Grades, social life, family life – they have it all together and do a great job of making it look like as little effort goes into it as possible. You’ll also spot them snacking on healthy snacks in lectures like green snap beans. Make friends with these people, chances are they’re lovely and willing to share their Dine in for Two dinners with you.

Iceland

Ah, Iceland. How us lazy, poor students love you. If you shop in Iceland then the idea of being stuck in the library’s stupid revolving door for hours with no food or water sounds more appealing that cooking yourself a homemade meal.The chances are you’re pretty lazy and addicted to Dr Oetker Pizza or some sort of frozen chicken. Your flatmates also hate you for taking up all the freezer space but can’t bear to say anything to you because you’re sound and down to earth.

Waitrose

Completely essential

If you shop in Waitrose then you’re probably loaded and you want everyone to know it. You’re probably Vegan and have already printed out your flat’s cleaning rota, pinned it to the front of the fridge with a pen and are known best for your “polite” passive aggressive messages on the group chat. Your flat also has a separate group chat without you so they can bitch about you when you’re having one of your episodes. You’re constantly going out for liquid lunches with your other minted mates and have an Instagram to die for.

Tesco

If you’re shopping at Tesco then you’re wasting all of your money on buying meal deals every single day and loading up on those one pound Oreo and Daim bars like there’s no tomorrow. Don’t worry, it’ll all catch up with you soon and you’ll start shopping at Lidl where all of the real students belong. You’re probably also that person who is seriously going on a diet…next week, or maybe, the week after that…oh wait. The Oreo and Daim bars are on offer again, next week – it’ll have to be next week guys – seriously, I’ll get my shit together, soon.