What you’ve learned from your first semester in Murano Street Student Village

As semester one draws to a close, amid exams and emotional farewells, we have the time to reflect on what has been a turbulent three months.

We reminisce about Freshers’ Week – now a distant memory – and about that one time we kept the kitchen clean for more than 12 hours. We discuss how thankful we are that we get on with our flatmates – even if they do steal our bread – and how lucky that we get on with our coursemates.

But, overwhelmingly, we’re glad that we chose Murano Student Village as our halls.

We try to decide which has been the best part, the worst, and the most goddamn bizarre and what we’ve learnt from our first semester here.

Bizarre

The parties

First and foremost, the most obvious factor – the parties.

Upon my arrival, my flat had already thrown a party. Start as you mean to go on, I suppose. Since then there have been countless ones, and I’ve discovered that we really don’t need much of an excuse to go out. I think I’ve attended more birthday parties in the past three months than I have in the past 19 years of my life – with 1200 people living within a stone’s throw this is unsurprising. Could I tell you the names of the birthday girl whose toilet I spewed in? Of course not, but that’s not the point, is it? And could I tell you the names of even one third of the people who have stumbled into our kitchen in the early hours of the morning? Of course not.

Not even halloween

The facilities

Secondly, and somewhat more sarcastically, the facilities. You’ll have a couple of light bulbs go out, which you’d expect. You’ll maybe even have a heater or two that doesn’t ever seem to get hot. What we didn’t expect was to not having any working ovens – it’s been a month – and have only half our hobs functioning. One side of the kitchen fused one day – that was fun – and everything in one fridge went off and we had to have the microwave plugged in on the floor. But without a doubt, the most fun was only having one shower between 12 people for two weeks. This did, however, really hone our problem solving skills when it came to genius ways to use a bath – besides for bathing in.

Smart

What you learn

University is a place of learning but I am not lying when I say I have learnt more in my flat than I have in lectures. I have learnt that the hallway is the perfect place to practice long jump. That stealing a shopping trolley is a surefire way to amuse the entire block with races – until someone flips out of it. That a person can survive on a diet of Richmond sausages and Tesco’s own tortellini. I have learnt that September IS an appropriate time to play Christmas music. And that if you leave a beetroot in a cupboard for a month it will go rotten and cause a fly infestation. I have learnt that Dragon Soop isn’t just a beverage but a ticket to a night of adventure and chaos. I have learnt that not only is the potato the greatest and most versatile carb in the universe, it is also an adequate weapon. And most importantly, I have learnt that trying to play flip bottle with a half full mug of tea isn’t quite the same – although it is a great deal more amusing.

The hygiene

The level of hygiene in Murano is another fantastical thing. The cleaners come every week, usually to tell you that your kitchen is too dirty for them to clean (???). It never occurred to me that 12 people could make so much mess in just seven days. From ketchup on the ceiling to mouldy beans in the fridge to broken glass and pee in the sink. I’ve seen it all. From two whole bags of peanuts smushed into the carpet to omelettes under beds to a mug full of spew. We all swear that we wash our own dishes but, I mean, someone’s lying.

Five minutes after the cleaners left

The friendships… and more

You’ll become super close with everyone in your block, like one great big dysfunctional family. And while everyone and their gran will have warned you not to “shit where you eat”, you will. You may not sleep with one of your flat mates but the chances of you sleeping with someone in your block are enormous. This is arguably just as awkward, even though you don’t actually live with them, you still see them ALL THE TIME. But it’s okay because all news is old news within five minutes here. We’ve all done some pretty terrible and unforgivable things this semester but the frequency at which these things happen makes everything seem acceptable. Fear not.

Getting to know the emergency services

Getting to know the local community is another benefit of living here. Day two we had a visit from the police and, since then, two trips to A&E and a visit from not one but TWO fire engines. It’s a good idea to immerse yourself in a new area and really endeavor to get to know the good, hard working locals. I will tell you though, the good folk at the firestation were not best pleased when they were called to our flat when a rogue pie nearly burned down our block. We are thinking about a flat trip to the seaside – maybe we’ll end up meeting the coastguard. I mean, if you’ve already pissed off three emergency services, you may as well go for four. Go hard or go home and all that.

Man of the moment

So now, here we are. Having lost our dignity, a great deal of money and arguably our minds – but gained a helluva lot of funny stories and friends for life. Here’s to doing it all again, Viva Murano.