Why Medics are the fittest people on campus

Sitting in front of my flatmate’s laptop, surrounded by snotty tissues and chocolate, I indulge in my fourth shameless hour of Grey’s Anatomy.

Medics, Doctors, Surgeons – oh my. I can’t explain exactly what it is about Medics but I will tell you this: they drive me wild. 10 seasons in to a 24-episode per season TV drama and I can safely say that I have self diagnosed.

It’s actually very exciting to know that you’re going to see one. In the flesh. In scrubs. And they’re going to fix your broken arm, along with all the rest of your troubles and worries. Not like dentists. Screw dentists, those guys are pretty sadistic.

Doctor, can I get a cuddle?

They know how to take care of themselves

Picture a Medical student and what do you see? Chiselled, healthy, glowing. They know just what to put in to their bodies and what to keep out. Health is naturally an attractive quality, our animal instincts draw us towards the healthiest mate, and let me tell you – they don’t get much healthier than a medic. They head to uni for their 9am lectures (packed lunch in tow), dash to the gym for a pre-lacrosse training warm-up, quick trip to the library to research appendicitis and cures for Alzheimer’s, then home in time for a nutritious balanced dinner before stocking up on all the right stuff for a night on the town. Medics are the maddest, but they’re also really hard working.

They’re classy

The Medic isn’t a Viper-fanatic or a Hive Hooligan. They go out together, away from all us others so far below their status. Frequenting edgier clubs like The Art School and Berkeley Suite, where they get notoriously loose, but never quite loose enough to damage their pristine reputation. If someone gets into a fight or passes out, the Medic is there, poised to step in and take control of any situation.

Medics have more fun

They rarely embarrass themselves

They have the most fun, but they’re also pretty switched on. Dr McDreamy doesn’t piss in the middle of the dance floor, but if you do he can tell you whether or not you need to hydrate more. When they wake up stark ass naked in bed next to a classmate at 5am, they simply gather their things and disappear in to the sunrise. A medic cannot be embarrassed or shamed, because Doctors know everything. Their cool calm exterior fools us all in to thinking that what they did was totally okay.

They’re personable

The medic is a people person. Charming, endearing, yet detached. They will make you think you stand a chance, make you feel special. Even though you know that they are going to leave university, walk straight in to a job, then marry the equally cool medic that they met on their OBGYN placement. The charisma reels you in, making you question yourself, your future, your present.

Bet you thought that smile was only for you

They’re self assured

Medics know they’re great. Obviously. Wouldn’t you if you had gotten six A’s and still managed to balance being head boy and captain of the hockey team in school? This cockiness is attractive. So attractive. Survival of the fittest and all that, we all want to be them or be under them. Sometimes when I’m in a taxi and the driver asks what I study I tell him I’m a Medic. Seriously: “Yeah I mean it’s hard work, but it’ll be worth it when I’m a world renowned Pediatric Surgeon”. You should try it some time, even though it’s a lie and you’re actually on your way home to write a dissertation on what dinner party scenes convey in modern French cinema, you will automatically feel like a demi-god.

Think I might vomit from hotness overload

They’re unattainable

But most of all, Medics are unattainable. They run in packs, taking separate holidays, separate ski trips, even using separate libraries. You’re never going to catch one, and if you somehow do it’ll be short lived. The medic is too busy for you, and too cool and dedicated to their studies to care about brushing you off. They don’t have time for break-ups, they will simply disappear, leaving behind memories of someone who knew your anatomy oh so well, and a smile that can reassure even the most anxious of patients.

Medics are the real life equivalent of the girls from Beauxbaton’s Academy of Magic in the Harry Potter book series: not quite human, scarily attractive, and too cool for you. You can give them hate or you can accept your diagnosis. I have, and now I need to live with it.