Everyone be prepared: It’s snow time

As if trudging to your 9ams in a) what feels like -2576346 degrees, b) fog or c) incessant rain isn’t horrendous enough in Glasgow at this time of year, there’s now warnings of snow this weekend.

The weather, according to the Met Office, is set to come all the way from the Arctic, not just bringing snow, but “strong and gusty winds” as well. Double whammy.

Snow. Pls.

For any of you country bumpkins, or middle-class toffs that have been lucky enough to go skiing, the thought of snow connotes a mental image of soft, fluffy whiteness sitting atop mountains and cute onesie-clad kids throwing snowballs at each other and going sledging.

Unfortunately, this is not the case in Glasgow.

If the warnings come to a head, we are in for one of the worst weekends of our lives. All too raw is the memory of last year’s arrival of snow: aka ice-lined pavements, brown-coloured slush (white converse wearers, beware) and “snowflakes” which actually turn out to be planet-sized hailstones catapulting you from all angles.

The thing is, native Glaswegians and students studying here all suffer from the same bizarre disease, which, we hear, is medically referred to as something along the lines of: “It’s-Winter-But-I-Refuse-To-Wear-Appropriate-Clothing-Syndrome”. For those unaware, the symptoms include girls heading for a night out and wearing 8-inch stiletto heels; guys trudging to lectures, hatless, ears purple from the bitter wind, and NO ONE, no matter what gender, seems to own gloves.

Mother Nature hates us here in Glasgow – we just have to accept it. Therefore, do yourself a favour this weekend and get that squeaky subway straight to TK Maxx to get yourself kitted out for the bitter months ahead.

To avoid that inevitable depression which accompanies bad weather, we must think about the positive side of being inundated with snow and buffeted about by violent winds. Firstly, it’s a great excuse to buy a new winter wardrobe – sorry student loan. Secondly, as it gets colder it is (probably) scientifically proven that students become more desperate in the search for a bae to snuggle with, and for those already coupled up, it’s a great excuse for cute ‘n’ cosy take-away nights in. And, last but not least, what is a more perfect line  to miss lectures and wallow in your duvet fortress, other than “sorry, I’m snowed in”?

Chin up, students of Glasgow University. We can get through this weather – snow big deal.