If you didn’t get a place on the ski trip, here’s what you’re going to miss

My week as a ‘SKINOC’

| UPDATED

While legendary BNOCs rule in Glasgow, being a SKINOC takes it to the next altitude. With boozy nights, snowball fights, wild black runs and shitey puns, the ski trip – if you’re fortunate enough to be going – will be the loosest week of your life by far.

The GUSSC ski trip is notorious and this year’s trip sold out in a mere 48 minutes. Anyone who’s been lucky enough to bag themselves a place on the trip in previous years will know anything goes from the second you step foot onto the boozed up bus, carting 500 Glasgow Uni students to the Alps to get their skite on and TAPS AFF.

From the minute you arrive at the resort, you’re bombarded with fit reps, French crepes and a whole lot of gin and Schweppes. With a fancy dress theme each night, you’re never short of a giggle as everyone tries to outdo each other, before heading out to some of the Alps’ hottest clubs, inevitably looking like “folie douches”.

Last year, the most memorable night was Hen party-themed. The entire club was filled with pink, outrageous wigs and inflatable penises. It doesn’t get much better than that.

Hens, ready for the party

There’s no better way to beat the hangover than having a morning beer, getting yer kit on and hitting the slopes, ready tear up some of the fresh “pow pow” the Alps has to offer. For those who can’t ski, copious amounts of Dutch courage will help snow virgins be ready to have their first taste of “skidom”.

Snow way I can ski

If you’re like me, you’ll experience the incredible atmosphere at “Folie Douce” and realise you’re much better at “getting piste” and spending all your SAAS on bad beer and cheap wine than you are at hitting the slopes. More experienced skiers and boarders, however, can be seen tearing it up and boasting their unreal skills, skiing in kilts, taking odds on to the extreme and  of course chanting “GUSSC get naked”, pissing off the Gendarmarie in the process.

‘Taps aff’

A place on the ski trip is a chance to be immortalised in legend. Take committee member Tillie Russell. Last year, she drank her body weight in vin rouge at the mountain meal and had a four-way kiss with a small french man and two questionable french girls on the deck of a restaurant, before stumbling down the slope and inevitably spewing down her brand new shewee. This year, that could be you.

On the trip, you’re never short of a friendly (drunken) face as you’re constantly meeting new people, whether you meet them in the club, at the infamous mountain meal, on the ski lifts or in the room next to yours. Also, everyone’s always super friendly as the beers they’ve had throughout the day have gone straight to their head. Altitude is every student’s dream.

With some of the best apres France has to offer, the GUSSC trip ensures you’re never short of a good time. To all you lucky sods heading to Val Thorens this New Year, expect unreal skiing, tartiflette food fights and many a messy night, culminating in unforgettable stories. (Or ones you wish you could forget.) For those of you missed out, well, better luck next year.