Avo toast, Batty Bingo, Circuit Laundry: The definitive A-Z of Exeter student life

Q is for quarter-zip

2 years ago

Exeter student life is one of variety (for the most part) – everything from quater-zips to schoffels, from mullets to curtains, there’s so much to experience. It may be my third year rose-tinted nostalgia, but in an attempt to pass on some wisdom and lower expectations for all the remaining students, here is a definitive round up of all the best (and worst) aspects of Exeter life:

A: Avo on toast

No Exeter girlie can quite live without her avo on toast: after a day of charity shopping with those Depop profits, they can relax with a *sustainably sourced* avo on toast and an oat milk chai latte.

B: Batty Bingo

No Exeter experience is quite complete without a strip tease from Peggy Sue and watching your friend spin a wheel onstage, only to win a lemon. Whether it’s an Oktoberfest special or a chance to whip out that Santa outfit you’ve had since first year one more time, a night at Batty is a must.

C: Circuit Laundry

The beloved Circuit Laundry: surprising students with the cost of keeping clean since 2012. Also teaching you how to tote your dirty laundry from your halls to the machines without dropping them or embarrassing yourself – truly teaching us all the life lessons.

See Also: curtains, cardiac hill, curly fries

D: Dirty Beats

If you’re ready to be stuffed in a room with approximately 50 guys who think think they’re the shit just because they have Ejeca and Raw Silk on their playlists – this is the place for you. I’m still not 100 per cent sure if entry is physical tickets, or showing fake blonde hair and a belly button piercing on the door, but either way, it’s a classic Exeter experience.

E: EG

You may have come to uni feeling pretty well equipped – Beroccas at the ready, down with all the Exeter lingo (Lemmy, Impy, BNOC) until your first pres where you finish your drink, casually put your now empty cup down on the table, only to be greeted with gleeful jeers claiming that you failed to EG. Confused, your mind springs to everything from “example” to “Exeter guys”, only to find out from that moment on until you graduate you must tap your cup to your head every time you finish your drink (and to those in their mid-twenties or thirties who still EG in the pub, I beg of you, please stop).

F: Fever

No, not Freshers’ Flu induced fever, but the classic club and home of the best Monday night out.

See also: Forum, freshers’, flatcest, Fiat 500

G: Gymshark

No Exeter girlie would be complete without her Gymshark leggings and *insert sport society here* stash puffa. Whether you go to the gym or not, Gymshark attire proves you have your life together, especially if it’s a matching set

H: Hang-xiety

Aside from all the nights out and studying, one of my main takeaways from uni has to be hangxiety: a delightful learning curve from the last three years which typically involve lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and contemplating my every move from the night before and wondering what is wrong with me as my drunken rendition of “voulez-vouz” comes screaming back to me.

See also: Holland (halls, not country), hip flask, Henry’s, Harry’s

I: IMPY

The Imperial – famous not only for it’s inbuilt orangery and humungous beer garden but mainly the cheap pints (thanks ‘Spoons xox). Whether you’re down for a cheeky post-lecture pint or hair of the dog and a full English, Impy always has your back (and a good chunk of your student loan).

J: Jägerbomb (3 for £5)

The quintessential university drink, the universal origin of bad ideas: the Jägerbomb. Only drunk once you’re hitting a level of tipsy where everything starts to seem like a good idea, or when the student budget is tighter than 2012 Joni jeans (rip Topshop) and the deal – whatever it may be – seems like a great idea.

K: Kebab (mega)

The icing on the cake, the ketchup on the chips: no night out in Exeter is complete without a cheeky trip to Mega Kebab. Whether you claim it’s to soak up the alcohol and erase the looming hangover, or because you secretly want a midnight snack, Mega Kebab is for all.

L: Lemmy

Although the only times I’ve been in the Lemmy so far were for a Covid test and a yoga class, it still deserves a spot. Between the cheap drinks, Lost Saturdays and its proximity to Lafrowda halls, Lemmy has made quite the comeback and perhaps if I get over my fear of accidental sharking, I may make it for a night out there before graduation.

M: Mullet

I say Exeter, you say mullet. Whether they’re your biggest ick or secret turn on, a mullet has started many a conversation / argument throughout Exeter.

N: North Face puffa

Some may argue an essential part of the Exe-tah uniform, the North Face puffa is almost a status symbol in Exeter, despite the fact that by the time you’ve scaled any of the hills en route to Forum, home or town, you will be sweating through your various layers and trying to take said coat off.

O: Overheard

Although – for the first time in alphabet history – there was some hot competition for ‘O’ including: overdraft (essential and often unavoidable), oat milk, and Old Timers, it simply had to be Exeter’s beloved Overheard. The jack of all trades, Overheard has seen me through uni, showcasing everything from finding lost keys and ID, overcharging for elusive TP tickets, and providing some good old fashioned entertainment in the form of noise complaints and calling out some truly shocking parking.

P: Pesto pasta

Again, there was a bounty of Ps to choose from – from the essential Pret to the even more essential Pura Vida, it simply had to pesto pasta. The unsung hero of every student kitchen and original stomach liner, pesto pasta has been with me since day one.

Q: Quarter-zip

What goes underneath that North Face puffa better than a Quarter-zip? Any gender, any season, the quarter-zip is the calling card of any Exeter student.

R: Rah

*posh Surrey voice* Need I say more?

S: Signet ring

You may have thought people were exaggerating when you joined Exeter about the level of rah you’ll be dealing with on a daily basis, but alas, they were not. Just think back to this year’s Freshers’ Fair for proof… Including everything from AGAs in student houses to schoffels, Exeter has it all. And so, it just wouldn’t be an Exeter alphabet without a signet ring feature – and if you’ve never seen one in real life before coming to uni (I’m talking family crest, Latin inscription and all), honestly, same.

See also: stash, squadka, social, schoffels, Surrey

T: TP

The dedication to TP nights out runs deep: claim Cavern is your favourite club all you want, say that you’re actually a Fever Monday kinda girl, but you can’t deny that Timepiece is a beloved, nay essential staple in any student experience. Venoms, top-top, an Ed Sheeran medley, tickets re-selling for 80 quid, it truly has it all (*cries nostalgically into re-usable TP cup*).

U: Underachieving

What is uni without a smattering of underachieving? Whether it’s academic (sorry mum), social (black-out by pres) or just generally – and by generally I do mean doing a pub quiz and suddenly finding your general knowledge isn’t quite as extensive as you thought. It turns out under-achieving is an important and unavoidable part of uni and probably life.

See also: Undergrad (café not student) undergrad (student not café), under the influence, and Unit 1

V: Venom

Possibly the most controversial moment of 2022 when Fever re-opened after its apparently £1.5 million refurb, and announced it was serving the once TP special: Venoms. With enough alcohol in them to make you drunk text your ex, or decide that a mullet and chinos aren’t actually an insurmountable ick for you – Venoms will invariably leave you with a memorable night out (once your mates remind you).

W: Wilko

We all hail the inaugural IKEA uni shop, but the newly moved in, filling in the gaps Wilko shop is definitely underrated. Usually always accompanied by the Wilko walk of shame, wherein students attempt to carry an oversized clothes horse and full bag of gear up the Exeter hills, refusing to waste that ever decreasing maintenance loan on a taxi.

X: Xpression FM (plus all the X-related puns Exeter throws out)

I’m not sure if there’s a specific job role at university where someone sits and churns out as many “X” / “Exe” related puns as they can, but either way, they have a habit of cropping up everywhere.

Y: Yah

Bonus points if it’s preceded by “gap”.

Z: Zinc

Often considered the ugly duckling of the clubs, it’s fair to say Zinc isn’t the most beloved of Exeter hotspots – more a tepid, if lukewarm spot. Nevertheless, Zinc is accidentally iconic in its own way, often the warm up to a cracking – usually society prompted – night out, I hereby christen it the underdog of good nights out.