‘Doesn’t everyone have a trust fund?’: The 27 poshest things ever heard in Exetah

‘I laughed so hard my loafer flew off and broke the chandelier’

We all know the Exeter stereotype: Blonde, wears Gymshark 24/7, lives off Daddy's money. Yep you've heard it all before.

In fact, everyone here is so rah that we're no longer just Exeter, we're ExeTAH. We've turned ourselves into walking memes. You're from Surrey? Wow that's so Exetah. You have Airpods? How Exetah. You're going skiing at Christmas? Could you be any more Exetah…?

But let's be honest we bring it upon ourselves, and The Tab Exeter's new Insta story series "Heard in Exetah" is proof of just that.

We've compiled a list of our 27 favourite "Heard in Exetah" posts. If you've got any funny content like these jokes quotes Exeter students have been overheard saying, drop us a DM for a chance to feature.

"When I need to grind my weed I use the back of my MacBook"


"I don't know who I want, the guy with the yacht or the guy with the moat?"

Wow what a tough decision.

"Doesn't everyone have a trust fund?"

In a word, no.

"Do you know that beach?" "Yes, my family owns it!"

Image may contain: Photo, Portrait, Photography, Land, Woman, Girl, Face, Bikini, Female, Vacation, Sand, Swimwear, Bay, Skin, Human, Person, Beach, Coast, Apparel, Clothing, Ocean, Nature, Outdoors, Sea, Water, Shoreline

"Daddy's promised me a horse if I pass this next exam"

What's Daddy going to buy them when they graduate?

"These are my sesh loafers"

Almost as bad as having driving shoes.

"Doesn't everyone learn Latin?"

It's a dead language, so no.

"I, like, don't really get ket? I'm more of a coke gal tbh"

Image may contain: Bowling, Sphere, Ball, Helmet, Apparel, Clothing, Person, Human

"I laughed so hard my loafer flew off and broke the chandelier"

To be fair that's actually pretty impressive, congrats.

"I can't believe he was bragging that his family has a crest – every family has a crest"

Clearly my family never got that memo…

"Did you really go to private school if it wasn't Harrow or Eton?"

Image may contain: Sitting, Apparel, Pants, Clothing, Family, Crowd, People, Person, Human

"Where's your house?" "Which one?"

You mean to say not everyone has a house in the south of France??

"Last night I had a midnight snack" "What did you have?" "Oh just baked breads, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and organic hummus for dipping"

Odds on this person refusing to shop anywhere but Waitrose.

"Timepiece was full by half eight"

Image may contain: Woman, Female, Handbag, Accessory, Accessories, Bag, Clothing, Apparel, Smile, Face, Person, Human

"If I could have sex with anyone, it'd be your sister"

And that's why they call it Sexeter

"Gosh it really is hard doing a food shop with a lacrosse stick"

Image may contain: Plant, Face, People, Shorts, Sports, Sport, Human, Person, Apparel, Clothing

"My dad will pay me three grand if I don't smoke a cigarette by the time I'm 21"

To be fair you could probably save that much money from not smoking anyway…

"I'm going to cry if I run out of my pink Himalayan salt"

What a disaster !!

"Smoke rollies you c***" "No I'm not a poor motherfucker"

Image may contain: Table, Furniture, Dating, Juice, Meal, Cafeteria, Food, Food Court, Beverage, Drink, Cafe, Restaurant, Person, Human

"Does anyone know anywhere my dad could park his boat?"

Try Holland Hall…

"How do I use a kettle? I have an Aga at home"

It's a hard life.

"Oh I just have empty shotgun cartridges in my shooting gilet"

Image may contain: Apparel, Clothing, Mammal, Animal, Bird, Hunting, Human, Person

"I swear to god, if you take your taramind paste off my Waitrose order"

Please tell me I'm not the only one who had to google what taramind paste is?

"Someone stole my Airpods and I have to use my emergency Airpods"

Image may contain: Red Wine, Wine Bottle, Beverage, Drink, Wine, Alcohol, Bottle, Human, Person

"Mummy told me there's no reason to get a job unless you think you'll have fun doing it"

Has she heard of rent??

"I fucking love plastic ngl"


"Sorry I only have £50s on me"

It's the smallest change I carry x.

Remember to drop us a DM on Instagram if you overhear anything that you think deserves recognition!

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