11 things you should NEVER do at Exeter

The list is simple. Follow these rules:

PDA on campus

SURELY you see each other enough to not have to be all over each other on campus. Couples who hold hands up forum hill together definitely don't stay together.

get a room you two x

Wear purple

A tradition as old as time, wearing purple on campus is as frowned upon as walking to the front of the Pret queue at 10am on a Monday morning. Purple is to Exeter what intelligence is to students at Plymouth University – incompatible.

Go to the Library and actually do work

The library was actually only built to provide a place for third years to spy out the talent for gold rush. If you're hogging a space in the library for work, go home, you are not welcome here. PSA- Fresher's the library is not for you… go and be hungover somewhere else.

Pay your on-campus parking fines

For all those who have been suckered into paying the fines for parking on campus, I bring you good news – Exeter University is privately owned, i.e if you don't pay the ticket, the University can't do much about it (disclaimer – they can take you to civil court but usually costly and time consuming, risk it for a chocolate biscuit x)

Drive anything except a mini or a fiat 500

If you didn't get the memo, it's probably best just to leave your car at home. Bonus points for the large Exeter car sticker in the back windscreen, basic but essential. https://www.exeteruniversityoutfitters.com/shop/product/10010700/

Go to the eXfactor employability talks

Not even sure how it's spelt because couldn't find anyone who actually went. If you do want to go rumour has it, you're rewarded with free food but can't promise anything.

Walk to the gym hungover

Unless you live at Holland Hall, the walk-up forum hill and beyond on a hangover is never a good idea. Plus, if you're hungover why are you going to the gym anyway?

Wear anything but trainers on campus

Running trainers, converse, AirForce1s, whatever your preference as long as they're trainers they're welcome. Practical and stylish – what's not to love.

Admit you come from anywhere other than London or the home counties

An oldie but a goldie – if you are in the 1% of the Exeter community who come from anywhere else in the UK (or further afield) best just keep that to yourself or be prepared for "you're my most Northern friend" for the next three years.

Ignore Karl in TP

The man, the myth, the legend, get Karl on side and you have a man on the inside. Imagine never being kicked of TP, Karl can make that happen. If you don't know Karl – get to know him.

bae

Organise your house any later than a month in

Do you remember that girl from halls who was always really nice, but you NEVER see her? She left housing too late and lives in St. Thomas – where's St Thomas? Exactly.