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How to pull an all-nighter

Only thing you will be pulling until after deadlines anyway

Exam and deadlines season is upon us and obviously you're not caught up with your work. Finding a spot in the library is simply another form of procrastination at this point, unless you get there at 6am (lol as if). But fear not, here is your guide to pull the BEST ALL NIGHTER OF YOUR LIFE.

Dress for success

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Yeezy's got nothing on these slippers

Comfy attire is a must. Not having to go to campus means you can look like absolute trash- which is a fair trade if you want your assignment to look pretty. Get out your pyjamas, joggers, jumpers or even your fluffiest dressing gown. No one cares. Skip the shower if you feel clean enough, you have no time to waste!

Catch up on caffeine

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The fact that you need an all nighter has already proven that you are not a morning person/ you're just lazy. THERE IS NO TIME TO SLEEP. Yes, it may potentially fuck up your body clock but who cares? Time is a man made concept (except for your assignment which needs to be submitted before the deadline). Redbull, coffee or even green tea for you mild folks is essential- consume all the caffeine your body can handle. Don't overdose though.

Share the pain

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If you're hitting a bump in your journey, you should always turn to your friends for support. Chances are they're in the same boat as you, struggling to stay up and make sense of your coursework and what better to feel motivated than to know that you're all equally screwed?

No stopping at the Procrastination Station

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Your die hard habit of focusing on more fun but pointless things has put you in this stressful position. You are literally avoiding sleep, which is the best thing ever, to work, which is one of the most boring things ever. Deactivate your Netflix. Our lives are pretty much a Black Mirror episode waiting to happen anyway.

Also, PRODUCTIVE PROCRASTINATION IS STILL PROCRASTINATION (I say this as I write this article instead of my essay). It doesn't matter if you have a Criminal Law exam and you're on a How to Get Away with Murder marathon (I speak from personal experience). Check yourself before you wreck yourself.


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Honestly speaking, I probably need a proper three course meal if I am pulling an all nighter. Stocking up is key! You may be surrounded by people who pretend to care about their new years resolutions and try to follow a healthy lifestyle, but you do not get to have this privelege. Instead, you have to stock up on ready meals to last you through this stressful time. You have no time to be unleashing your inner Gordon Ramsay, get a Tesco Finest meal if you're feeling fancy, or some hoummous if you're still carrying all the guilt from your holiday binging.

Take care of yourself

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While this may be a painful time for you and you regret most of your life choices, remember we're all the same. Everyone is a mess during submission season. Panicking, while inevitable to some extent is not going to help. Take a deep breath and calm down before you tackle your work. Turn on some relaxing tunes. Put a face mask on to beat those stress spots, you want to look on point when you get back on the sesh after all your deadlines and exams!

Now go and ace your assignment/exam!