Everyone forgets about Bedford, but it’s a great place to grow up

If London is the charming Protagonist of a Romantic Comedy (probably played by Hugh Grant, let’s be honest), then Bedford would be the bitter, sarcastic, less attractive best friend. Having been a fresher twice in my Uni career, once at Exeter University and once over in the States at Vassar College, I have had to answer the “where are you from?” question about two hundred times. Almost every single one of those times I will answer with “Bedford”, and they will, without fail, reply with “where?”

In America I have given up completely and answer the question with “North of London”, which is the town equivalent of “I’m that hot person’s friend.”

As a born-and-bred Bedfordian – attending the same school as my sister, mother, and Grandmother – Bedford’s lack of notoriety baffles me. It has been here for ever after all. According to Wikipedia, it was founded by a Saxon called Beda, so that makes it pretty darn old. We are even the capital of Bedfordshire. We have our own county named after us, and people still don’t know who we are. Just like that poor Rom Com friend, we are often overshadowed by the bigger-and-better London. Most of us living here have had to come to terms with the fact that one day London will swallow us up completely.

People call it Shitford

Although I am absolutely, undoubtedly biased, I feel that Bedford is greatly overlooked in the eyes of England, and indeed the rest of the world. If anyone has ever heard of Bedford, it’s never a good thing. No over ever hears “Bedford”, and thinks: “Oh yeah, that town has a cracking John Bunyan Museum!” I have heard it referred to as “Shit-ford”.

Yeah, somebody’s body was pinned to the door of a hotel with a machete, and yeah, a rower on the river Great Ouse pulled up a corpse with her oar, and yeah, the swans will try to kill you, but it’s not really as bad as everyone thinks it is. It is not the prettiest place is the world, but it is certainly not the ugliest; the river can look really pretty from the bridge if you ignore the manky hotel on the other side, and the historic Viking mound has a great view, though it’s mostly used for the youth to take drugs and try and look cool in front of their mates.

There’s more to Bedford than just a bridge, honest

Yates to HiFi is a weekly pilgrimage

As for Nightlife, the only acceptable place to end up on a night out is HiFi Nightclub, though many pay the five pound entry fee in order to just stand outside in the smoking area and shout at their friends over the noise. The club is right across the road from Yates’, and on a Friday or Saturday Night, right around One in the morning, all the youth in the entire town try (and fail) to walk across the street in a straight line and get into HiFi before the line gets too long.

The standard Yates-to-HiFi pilgrimage has become so entrenched in the Bedfordian psyche at this point, that it would seem like blasphemy to do anything else with your night. But don’t get the impression that HiFi is popular because it’s a nice club. I have had to peel my shoes off that floor more times than I care to admit.

Half of the clubbers are asleep

Bedford’s been undergoing a face lift

So far I feel that I have actually damaged my case in these descriptions. But here is where Bedford’s beauty lies; most of Bedford’s critics are Bedfordians themselves. We like nothing more than to take the mick out of ourselves. We know that we can never compete with London. We are not the pretty ones. But we have a sense of Humour. When we call Bedford “Shit-ford”, we do so with a touch of affection that only someone that has lived in Bedford could.  Bedford, in recent years, has been regenerating its city centre by sprucing up the shop windows and building the new cinema complex.

These changes are the make-over part of the movie; the best friend is now way hotter than you thought she was. And now you feel bad for ignoring her. But, in the end, it’s okay if you ignore her, because she has the best self-esteem around. Bedford soon will be the hottie that has the self-deprecating mind-set that only someone who has known ugliness has. And I can’t wait for people to finally notice her.