It’s time we admit we all dislike freshers

Carefree, relaxed and constantly drunk, the life of a fresher is the envy of every second and third year, apart from Arts students, in which case nothing has changed.

The common sight of a first year complaining miserably about their 500 word essay on mitochondria, despite the fact that nothing they do actually counts towards their degree, is enough to make any older student’s blood boil.

But do freshers deserve the jealousy and intense dislike they often inspire in the rest of us?

Why do freshers insist on taking up all the space in the library?

Beautiful first year accommodation

This leads into another problem, there are simply too many freshers.

Clearly all it takes to get into most universities now is the ability to colour within the lines, and to spell your name correctly when applying for a student loan.

Back in 2014, things were different. We actually had to pass exams that weren’t just about why Lennie got shot in Of Mice and Men.

Thanks to grade inflation and the lifting of restrictions on university places, it just isn’t as hard as it used to be.

They even let this guy in

What’s more, so many freshers simply don’t know how to handle their money.

Too many green freshers can be identified on sight by their crisp Tommy Hilfiger t-shirts and flashy Ray-Bans, cruising into lectures with £1500 laptops that are powerful enough to digitally render a submarine engine but are mostly used to browse no more than Tumblr.

The only thing freshers ever eat

Lastly, their tiresome antics in student unions, nightclubs and towns around the country are thoroughly off-putting. How many traffic cones will end up on freshers’ heads and in their kitchens and not on the roads where they belong?

Stolen

For better or worse, first years across Britain are an unfortunate necessity and they will one day become blossom into socially acceptable second years.