So you’re going to Cavern for the first time

The hub of the South West underground music scene since it opened 25 years ago, providing the vibesy alternative for those seeking refuge from the unwanted grinding, chinos and horrendous fancy dress found at TP and the bralettes, VKs and Z list DJs at Moz. Widely known as the haunt for the edgy Exeter student, but if you’re feeling like you’re not up to scratch, here’s the unofficial rulebook.

Garms

Anything goes at Cavern – weirdness correlates with edginess. Don’t hold back as you reach for the waviest garms you own. However if dressing as an eccentric is too daunting then typical attire for boys consists of snapbacks and skinny jeans and for girls it’s the all-purpose crop top and ripped jeans (sometimes only just a bra, whatever floats your boat).

Not a VK to be seen

Music 

Unlike Moz and the Lemmy whose entertainment boasts burnt out losers from forgotten 90s boy bands, Cavern has greater musical prestige, attracting the likes of the Kaiser Chiefs, Muse, and Biffy Clyro since it opened in 1991.

Not a patch on S Club’s Bradley

So there’s no need to fake a passion for deep house music, as here you’ll find the best of Drum and Bass, House, 90s, Jungle and Trap. Accommodating the widest variety of music tastes in EX4 through its eclectic range of nights from the finest DJs from Beats and Bass to regular charity nights such as English Disco Lovers, there’s something for even the most antisocial amongst you. A growing favourite is the fortnightly Magic Hatstand, where the wavey garms are out in force head banging to the filthiest basslines you’ll find on a Friday, dressed in gender-fluid hats and covered head to toe in UV paint and glitter. There’s even a Bowie night coming up, take that Moz.

Hold onto your hat

Vibes 

Not mainstream/boring/basic enough for Moz or horny enough for TP, the typical Cavern-goer goes as crazy as they like whilst pretending they’re in Leeds for the night. They’re not afraid to rub shoulders with the ketty locals or even make mandy-induced friendships with an otherwise terrifying lot. If pingin ain’t your thing then fear not, for Cavern is surprisingly cheap on alcohol, especially vodka mixers and jaegerbombs. They even take card.

For the introverts amongst you, Cavern provides an excellent abyss for those with less than up to scratch conversational abilities. People care less about pulling and networking and more about busting a move. But all that shape cutting is gonna work up quite the sweat, so head outside to the steps where the relatively friendlier smoking area lends itself to greater chances of receiving a free cig as you mingle with other Bristol wannabes.

Sunglasses optional

Don’t be put off by large queues, as everyone’s favourite hole-in-the-ground manages to never feel too full or too empty, so you can freely cut shapes to anything from Oasis to Stormzy and chew gum as if your life depends on it.

Once inside, don’t expect to be able to attend to your FB addiction or Snapchat large swathes of the night, for being underground means the walls are impenetrable to 3G so you save yourself from the world of drunken iPhone addicts elsewhere. Have a stress-free night knowing you won’t be waking up with the horror of drunken text mistakes-you may as well leave your phone at home.

There’s room for you behind decks too

If you’re going clubbing to enjoy yourself and not just to be seen, you have a home in Cavern.