You’re 20 years old, why are you so incompetent?

Let’s be honest, most students are like Tamagotchis, if you leave them alone for too long it’s likely they’ll shit themselves and die

noad

We all know at least one student who is completely incompetent. They have no clue where their money has gone, don’t understand the basic concepts of cooking, have no control over their drinking and little understanding of what their course is actually about.

When you think about it, you’re genuinely confused as to how they even got into uni, and how they were expecting to survive here, on their own, without their parents doing everything for them.

Most of us are given a nice lump sum of money from Student Finance at the beginning of term to last us for the whole 12 weeks, and some lucky bastards even get extra from their parents. So why, at 6 weeks in, are you desperately calling home because you “literally don’t even have enough money to eat”?

Obviously didn’t budget properly

They’ll claim to have no idea where the money could have gone, but the Topshop shopping bags and three weekly nights out say it all. Surely, when you came to uni you had a basic understanding of how to budget? Or at least knew that money doesn’t just magically appear when you need it?

Not only don’t they understand the concept of budgeting, they’re also the incapable few who seem to think if they leave something on the floor for long enough, it’ll just disappear.

THIS DOES NOT COUNT AS CLEANING UP

If cooking rice really confuses you and you’ve never washed up or thrown something in the kitchen bin, you seriously need to reassess your life and think about learning how to function in the world like an adult human being.

Another thing these incompetent few seem unable to do is handle their drink and socialise in a normal way. Since when was stumbling into a club, losing your friends and drunklenly dancing with everyone and anyone, then passing out in a puddle of your own vomit in the hallway ever a good idea? And why do you do it basically every time you go out? It’s embarrasing, and just kind of awkward for everyone else.

If this is you, reassess your life choices

Unfortunately, when it comes to coursework and revision, it’s the same sad story. They’ll feverishly message you at 2am on the day before the deadline asking for the definition of a key word in the title, or even worse, ask you to send over your essay notes because they “just have no clue what any of it even means”.

How about instead of mooching off of everyone else, you actually go to the lectures and do some work for yourself? maybe even listen during the group discussions and try to contribute so you’re not left clueless when the end of term comes around?

Incompetent people are probably the worst thing about uni, they latch onto everyone else and, like a leech, suck everything out of them until they have nothing left to give. It’s best to avoid them at all costs, and if you yourself are incompetent, GROW UP.