Meet the Exeter girls and guys playing in hockey varsity

The first ever joint Hockey varsity is here. With both the women’s and men’s teams playing against their rivals tomorrow, we’ve had a chat with some of the team who you should look out for.

We even managed to get a message off the infamous “Macca”, (the EUHC Head Coach) for the teams: “If you guys don’t play well, this will be the last interview ever.”

You may have spotted some of these fine specimens polishing off countless amounts of blue VK’s in their favorite hang out – The Guave.

Frankie Maffei

Tab verdict – Best chat out of the girls by far, we love you

Sociology (life long dream is to do astrophysics), 3rd year 

Tinder stats:  Well I have a boyfriend so I don’t have Tinder, I’m quite frigid.

Chirpsing method: My boyfriend gets in the way of me using chat up lines, unless its with Phil Bryans, I love Phil. ( End of season dinner?).

Ideal bae: Macca, our coach. He’s a beautiful rugged man.

Likely romance: Roberta – she was athlete of the month and I want to be her, she is a dream.

AKA: I am THE Self-proclaimed 8.5.

Phobia:  I don’t like unpredictable things, like I’m not scared of spiders, but I get scared when they make unpredictable movements, if they’re walking in a straight line its fine, but if they scatter about, that really gets to me.

Rig rating: 7.5 – I try my best to be humble for the crowd

Squat stats: Infinity, doing squats is like breathing to me, it comes so naturally.

VK stats: I’m not good at seeing them off, I’m more of a Jäger bombs girl.  I’m the club captain of Sipsoc, why see off a VK?

Ella Jackson

Tab verdict – With Jack Banister as her ideal boy, we think she has a very questionable taste in men

Sports Science, 2^nd year

Ideal bae: Jack Banister (The fit Australian one, although he does have a shit lid).

Fun fact: She received her first Senior Cap in the summer.

Biggest sin: I was accused of cheating in my year 7 maths exam, I was heartbroken that my teachers would think of me doing such a thing.

Phobia: I hate unattached hair, I see a hairbrush with hair dangling from it and it creeps me out, I cant deal with it, I think it’s mainly to do with the fact that it reminds me of my sheep shearing days.

Noah Sharples

Tab Verdict : A confusing concoction of Ryan Gosling and Dobby

Maths with Economics (I don’t fuck around), 2nd year – yes, really

Favourite Spice Girl: Baby Spice, I like it when she licks her lollipop.

Chirpsing method: “Hi, I’m Noah Sharples, here is my phone number in case of emergencies”.

Ideal gal: Emily Baker or Hene Hinchcliffe or Louise Elms, all three merged together, ideal.

Likely romance: Matt Richards – he put me, so… I feel like I should repay the favour.

Biggest sin: I did a line of icing sugar off Lewis Burnham’s bum.

Squats stats:  Pi.

Clare Pool

Tab Verdict :  We just want to say that hickeys can be dangerous…

Mathematics, 1st year 

Tinder stats: I don’t offer very much so none.

Ideal bae:  Definitely Ben Palmer, I just have no time for Tom Watson anymore (Both EUMHC 1’s players).

Likely romance:  –Katie Taverner, because I’m living with her next year: there’s a chance.

AKA:  Hickey, I don’t really need to explain why.

Phobia: Having a bolt time than higher than 10 seconds.

Biggest sin: I gave a boy some rogue hickeys, they still haunt his neck, does my nickname make sense now??

Hannah Griffiths

Tab verdict : She has probably exhausted the Exeter Tinder discover distance..but fair play

Psychology and Sport, 2nd year 

Tinder stats:  980 – I’m just so fit.

Fun fact: Fluent in Welsh.

Likely team romance: Ella because she saves our asses when we’ve fucked up, and I fuck up a lot, sorry Macca.

Phobia: I hate Milky Ways and their adverts, the characters have massive noses, and the music is very rogue, I can’t listen to it

Biggest sin: I accidentally shoplifted a rubber, and then I cried, I was only small, the shoplifting life is not for me .

Matt Richards

Tab verdict : Hockey Intermural Sec and England International, he is looking very promising

Natural Sciences, 2nd year 

Tinder stats: I have never needed it to be brutally honest, being an International has its perks.

Ideal gal: One that can see off VKs quickly, plays FIFA and can be the perfect big spoon.

Likely romance: Nobbs (Noah Sharples) – he’s got a flair lid doesn’t he?

AKA: Tekkers…it’s not self-given I promise.

Phobia: Snakes and being suffocated, both together would kill me.

Biggest sin: The first time I drove after passing my test I slammed on the breaks before a mother and child but accidently bumped into the child , he didn’t die .

Alex Robey

Tab verdict : We’re not sure how he’s handling his newfound Tab fame 

Economics, 1st year

Ideal gal :  Biz Mallet – you know this already.

Likely romance: Mark (Loughrey) for obvious reasons, have you heard his accent? Dreamy.

AKA:  Ropey

Phobia: Thomas Whitworth is both a fetish and a phobia, I cannot give a reason.

Biggest sin: I was once in a bed with my mate when he was, er, getting intimate with this girl, unfortunately for him, the girl whispered into my ear saying that she wished it was me.

Pulling power: None today, very poor form from me, I’ll make up for it in Wednesday TP after the Varsity .

Mark Loughrey

Tab verdict:  The Irish accent is rated the 6th sexiest in the world.. that is all

Business and Management, 1st year 

Tinder stats:  I have a girlfriend, Tinder is for the lonely souls.

Ideal gal:  Izzy Baker.

Likely Romance:  Ali Williams, have you seen him? He’s everything I aspire to be

AKA: Lockers

Phobia: The TV volume has to be on either a number ending in 0 or 5, it makes me feel so uncomfortable if it’s on anything else.

Rig rating:  A solid 7.4.

Bench-press stats: The bar.

Preferred binning method: Wine, a large bottle of wine.