Everything you need to know about the rugby union first team

With the Rugby Varsity coming up, we thought we’d give you the chance to get to know the cream of the crop.

So here’s some fun facts about them all, and they’re really not as interesting as you’d think (They all love missionary – apparently sensitive, emotional sex is very highly rated between the EURFC 1’s).

Adam Worth

20, Law, second year

Tab verdict: A rogue all-rounder.

Favourite chat up line? I don’t really have one, I’m quite socially awkward, and I’m scared of the birds but if I really like a girl, I’ll tell her I live with Harry Ledger.

How would you describe your perfect girl in 3 words? I quite like the fit girls.

If you were to have a bromance with anyone on your team, who would it be? Sam Waltier, I like him for his personality, he’s cute.

How would you rate your rig?  Lean, currently a 7.5 but it’s rising, watch this space.

How many people have you slept with?  1.

Favourite sex position? The gecko? Actually i don’t know what that is, i’ll stick with missionary because I like to look them in the eyes, i’m really sensitive.

Rate yourself on looks / character / chat: I’m going to go for 8 all across the board.

Ben Higgins

22, Sports Science, third year

Tab verdict: His chat is not as good as Tom Hardy (his alleged doppelganger).

Favourite one direction member? Harry Styles, cus he fucked Taylor Swift, dream.

Favourite chat up line? Nice shoes, wanna fuck?

Weird phobia? Can’t stand balloons, the noise is disgusting

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done? Got stopped at an airport for having a knuckle duster.

How would you rate your rig? For a front rower, I’d say 6.

If you were to have a bromance with anyone on your team, who would it be? Duncan Hales.

Rate yourself on looks / character / chat: 7 (cus I look like Tom Hardy) / 8 / 2.

Ben King

20, Sports Science, third year

Tab verdict: Not quite sure why he went for the football hooligan look for the interview.

Favourite chat up line? I don’t use them, I just like to seem approachable and friendly so that the girls come to me.

What’s your ideal girl/relationship? Fun, fun, fun.

Weird phobia? I can’t eat chicken and eggs within three hours of each other, it creeps me out, the chicken might’ve made that egg, I don’t want to eat the whole family in one day.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done? Ehhh fuck me, this interview.

If we asked you to get naked right now, what are the odds on you doing it? 3-1.

How many people have you slept with? This week? Less than 100

Rate yourself on looks/ character / chat:  3/10/3.

Freddie Gabbitas

21, PGCE

Tab verdict: A classic gentleman.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done? I shat myself on a bus…I was sober.

Would you rather have a penis for hands or a hand as a penis?  Hands as a penis.

Ideal girl? Brunette.

How would you rate your lid? Average to poor.

If you were to have a bromance with someone on your team, who would it be? Sam Waltier.

Rate yourself on looks / character / chat: 7.5 across the board.

Gavin Porter

19, Economics, second year

Tab verdict: He has a girlfriend

Favourite One Direction member? The little Irish one, he’s funny.

Favourite chat up line? I have a girlfriend.

Weird phobia? I’m allergic to tape.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done? I missed a kick that lost us a game last season, so guilty.

How much can you bench-press? 125kg.

Rate yourself on looks / character / chat : 6/ 6/ 8.

George Beale

21, Biochemistry, second year

Tab verdict: Lovely guy with mediocre chat.

Favourite One Direction member? Not Harry Styles.

Do you get many matches on Tinder? Enough, 100, is that too many?

Favourite chat up line? Did you hear about the kidnapping at uni? No? He woke up.(Yeah we were confused too)

What’s your ideal girl/relationship? Good chat, athletic, modest.

If you were to have a bromance with anyone on your team, who would it be? James Doe, actually no ew, Oliver Rammage, his rig, he’ll love that.

Weird phobia? Deep water.

What’s your fastest bolting time? –1 second (we saw video proof).

Rate yourself on looks / character / chat: 6/7/8.

Jack Owlett

20, Business and Management, 1st year

*Jack sent us a picture of Henry VIII that we can’t use, but he assures us he really looks like that*

Tab verdict: Very giggly.

Favourite sex position? Missionary is always quite tricky, cus I’m quite big, but I’m pretty open to new things.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done? Flushed the purse of a girl I didn’t like down the loo.

How would you rate your rig? Average, definitely worse than my lid.

How much can you bench press? 145kg.

Rate yourself on looks / character / chat: 3/7/5.

Favourite chat up line? I’m no good at chat up limes, but fancy a squeeze?

Matthew Eliet

20, Geography and French, second year

Tab verdict: We didn’t meet him in person, so can’t comment.

Weird phobia?: Girls eating Quavers.

If you were to have a bromance with someone on your team, who would it be? Harry Ledger, I like it when he gets all commanding and angry.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done? Missed a lecture last term.

Favourite chat up line? I carry ball.

Rate yourself on looks / character / chat: 7.6/8/12.

Rich Adeniyi Jones

21, Philosophy and Political Economy, third year

Tab verdict: Very mysterious.

Do you get many matches on Tinder? No. Put a full stop for emphasis.

Favourite chat up line? Girl are you from Tennessee, cus you’re the only 10 I see…

Weird phobia? I cant sleep unless I’m in total darkness.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done? I can’t comment on ongoing legal procedures.

How many people have you slept with? Less than 1000.

Favourite sex position? Spooning with clothes.

Rate yourself on looks / character / chat: 5.89/8.5/4.

Rob Coote

22, Engineering and Management, third year

Tab verdict: His sombrero style is questionable.

Weird phobia?: Freddie Clark (Bath Captain). Not really, he’s so soft.

Ideal girl?: I take all comers but preferably they’d be smaller and lighter than me.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done: I used bleach as bubble bath.

Favourite one direction member?: Harry Stylage.

If you were to have a bromance with someone on your team, who would it be? Ollie Rammage – he’s got it all.

Rate yourself on looks / character / chat: 6/9/what’s chat?

Sam Skinner

20, Business Economics, first year

Tab verdict: He was probably having a rough day, so we won’t comment.

Who’s your favourite One Direction member: The little Irish one.

Favourite sex position?: Doggy.

How would you rate your rig? 5/10.

What’s your fastest bolt speed? Don’t care.

How much can you bench press? 120kg.

Rate yourself on looks / character / chat: 5/7/2.

Tomas Rhodes

21, Management and Marketing, first year

Tab Verdict: We only spoke over the phone so we can’t comment.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done: Punched a girl in the face when I was 12, it was by accident I promise.

Favourite sex position?: Girl on top.

How would you rate your rig? 1/10, I’m so selfless.

How many people have you slept with? Around 20.

How much can you benchpress? 150kg.

Rate yourself on looks / character / chat:10/10/10 (I don’t want to undersell myself).

Adam Struminski

22, Sports Science, second year

Tab verdict: We just assumed that was a picture of his little sister.

How would you rate your lid? By far the best lid in the club, definitely a 10/10, look out for the razor faded pompadour at Varsity.

Favourite chat up line? You must be a track star because you’ve been running through my mind all day.

What’s your fastest bolt speed? Sub 30 seconds.

Weird Fetish? I like dressing up as women, a full face of makeup, earrings and a dress complete my look.

Rate yourself on looks / character / chat: 7/8/10.

Tom Holdsworth

18, Sports Science, first year

Tab verdict: The wavey garms have overwhelmed us.

Favourite chat up line? My dick just died, would you mind if I buried it in your arse?

What is your ideal girl? Petite, tanned with a big rack.

If you were to have a bromance with someone on your team, who would it be? Me and Rory Christopher  (The guy on the left) have experimented.

Have you got any weird fetishes? Whips and chains excite me.

Rate yourself on looks / character / chat: 9.89/ 9.89/ 9.89.