Remember the hockey fresh who went to Edinburgh?

Dan Ladd, an 18-year-old Business & Management Fresher embarked on one of the greatest adventures of his life a few months ago. He gained instant fame and fortune, boosting his reputation in the Men’s Hockey Club and his popularity with the hundreds of VK-saturated girls in Moz.

The Ladd headed to Scotland last term after showcasing his shockingly poor form at a simple game of Edinburgh Fives at the EUMHC Christmas dinner.

It’s an event that many of the hockey freshers dread, hours of practice is put in to refine their Fives skills so that they can avoid the 16 and a half-hour round train trip to Edinburgh made all the worst if you have a phobia of trains as the Ladd does.

As he met the representatives of other unis like Durham, Leeds, and Bristol, his fanbase grew almost exponentially, his twitter followers increased by the minute to his delight.

The attention was overwhelming, and he is now in a constant state of post-Edinburgh blues. He checks his Twitter follows daily, charting his decline in popularity. His recent downfall of 6 followers (now onto 449) may have been the push he needed to get back to reality.

Or not.

He even pulled looking like this

“I never went out that much before Edinburgh,” Dan tells us.

“I was too committed to EUMHC 2’s and keeping up my track record of constant firsts in my degree. Now I’ve realised I need to keep the fans happy.”

He’s increased his club appearances to market himself, often gracing the sticky dance floors of the Lemmy (Commonly referred to as the Guave by the hockey players) and smugly posing for selfies while being bombarded with the shouts of “Danny Ladd!!” .

Fellow hockey players have been spotted claiming they are Dan Ladd in order to either obtain a free drink or pull, but Dan being the genuine fellow that he is doesn’t see a problem with that.

“I feel good about sharing the attention,” he said.

Hard at work in stash always

Underneath the happy, cheery face, there’s deep discontent that only his flatmates and those close to him can see. He’s savoured his souvenirs from the journey, his club ties hang miserably on his wardrobe, as a crushing reminder of the past, while he drowns himself with the copious amounts of alcohol that was gifted to him by the hockey clubs around the nation. “I’d say the 6 pack of Scrumpy Jacks was my favourite,” he said.

“I went from literally crying with disappointment at losing Edinburgh Fives at Walkabout to coming back at 10:30pm from Edinburgh the next day claiming it was the worst day of my life.”

But sure, he must have loved every second of it?

The notoriety of the infamous train journey has meant that rather than writing his name in the EUHMC history books for his questionable hockey ability, he has entered them for a much more important feat: losing Edinburgh Fives.

Sultry

He said: “At the end of the day, my BNOC status didn’t stem from anything remotely positive. I was just very, very shit at Fives.”