Which political party is your halls?

Holland – Conservatives 

Yep, you saw this one coming. As prices have risen yet again for this notoriously expensive accommodation, it’s no wonder that they are the Conservative Party of the student halls.

If MPs lived here they’d probably be claiming back the expenses of living in luxury such as the oh-so-necessary cab journeys to and from Mosaic or the bohemian pot plant that makes any room “with a view” reminiscent of Cambodia 2k12.

Residents who laugh at the Moberly prisoners or the old Lafrowda motley crew for living in squalor would make David Cameron and BoJo proud.

Birks Grange – Liberal Democrats 

Cardiac hill? Nah mate sack it off

The faux Robin Hood in the political world, the Lib Dems haven’t been in complete power for over a century.

Remember when they promised not to raise uni fees and then, did? Well, much like their misleading policies Birks fails to mention a host of disadvantages such as the dreaded “Cardiac Hill”.  Advertising a whole range of rooms from pricier en-suites to shared “townhouses”, let’s face it, they offer something for everyone which is probably why they’re one of the most popular choices.

However, pretending to be relatively inexpensive, in reality, those townhouses you may have heard about aren’t as cheap as you’d think. And so, middle of the road Birks wins this less than prestigious title.

 Old Lafrowda- Labour

Often unfairly looked down upon by the likes of the Penny C cliques, old Lafrowda is losing popularity as one of the cheaper options on campus.

However, there is still strong support from freshers who are more likely to opt for more taxes on the rich and those mansions in the Home Counties. But, the close proximity to the Lemmy for a wild Saturday night out and to the main campus is definitely a plus.

St Davids – UKIP

Well it had to be one of them.

Only misguided, ill-informed fools will vote for the joke of a political party much like those misguided ill-informed fools who actively choose to live so far away from campus.

But with the worryingly growing popularity of UKIP, who knows where the future lies?

Duryard – Greens 

The only eco residence on campus, Duryard is all for mass recycling, energy efficient lights and water saving techniques.

If you haven’t heard of these halls it’s no surprise as they’re hidden behind the realms of Birks Grange even further from campus than you’d think possible. Duryard being in the middle of nowhere forces many to buy a bike in an attempt to venture out of the unknown – so green.

With a neutral reputation all round (apart from proposing to abolish the monarchy), this party usually attracts the sanctimonious of all types.

James Owen Court – Sinn Fein 

Don’t go alone

Perhaps the most questionable halls on campus, they can only be compared to the odd party – Sinn Fein – literally meaning “ourselves alone”. This is very apt seeing as JOC isn’t quite on campus but in the depths of Exeter town which just screams “soloness”.

Sinn Fein’s dodgy past is similar to the unsavoury types that usually reside in James Owen,so if you want drugs you’ll have to venture out here.

Point Exe – SNP

The Scottish Nationalist Party gained worldwide attention last year after the Scottish referendum. Point Exe is so far away that many truly believe it to be in the unknown depths of the North.

The chances are, if you live here, it wasn’t through choice but some fate of bad luck or karma.

Bonhay House/New Nacherrow – Respect 

Ever heard of it? Nope? Neither have we.

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