What your freshers noticeboard says about you

Still not sure what to think about your flat mate at the end of the corridor? Just look at their noticeboard to get a good idea of who they really are.

The fresher’s fair fool

By far the worst of all, the fresher’s fair fool took things to another level in September as they grabbed every poster, flyer, leaflet and free slice of pizza in sight in an attempt to decorate their lack-luster room.

After joining twenty societies in the space of an hour, the Amnesty International fabric banner takes pride of place on their wall so they can remember their good intentions in joining.

Offenders of this are most likely to be girls, probably called Sarah or Anna and are the type of people you’ll see in twenty years time at the Ideal Home Show grabbing all the free stuff.

The optimistic shagger

“Mate, this is just a week’s supply”

After a 2k14 workers season in Magaluf this is the boy you should avoid at all costs. Usually surfacing at pre-drinks, you’ll only ever see him wear his stash unless he’s on the pull.

Peer pressured drinking, and shouting “down it you shlag” at every opportunity goes hand in hand with the type of person who thinks it’s a good idea to PIN condoms to a noticeboard.

The optimistic shagger has every variety and flavour of lube you’ll ever need.

In reality though the only bird he’ll be bringing back at weekends is his Mum.

The ‘I failed A Level Art’

This person thought it was a good idea to actually bring stuff with them to decorate their room in an attempt to stand out from the mainstream crowd.

Usually filled with shite postcards from their gap yah and edgy pictures of Elizabeth Taylor anything and everything goes.

The over-organiser

Who has time for this?

Colour coordinating their timetable and pinning up various monthly calendars is a mere joy for this studious chump.

They make you feel guilty for not turning up to your 9am and they’re horrified when you don’t join them at Pilates on a Sunday morning.

Just remember though, one day this person will become a pushy parent who everyone hates.

The voucher enthusiast

Don’t be surprised if the uni health service diagnoses this person with scurvy when they do their weekly shop at dominos.

Taking their love of takeaways to another level, their student loan is always blown in the first week of term on.

Feel free to disown them if they actually ask for a coupon from the guy with the McDonalds sign.

The ‘I love this band but don’t actually know who they are’

Their noticeboard is littered with pictures of “alternative” bands that they claim to love but in reality know sweet FA about.

Catch them out by asking what their favourite Ramones song is when they wear their t-shirt. And they’re probably a faux-smoker too, the worst kind.