Why is everyone trying to be edgy?

Don’t lie, you love Taylor Swift

It seems like such an effort – it’s expensive, annoying, time-consuming and makes you look like a tit.

Yet Exeter is filling up with “edgy” people. Why?

You can’t deny it

The allegedly “vibesy” shirt is fine, but please undo the top button and take the hat off.

Apparently being edgy is more contagious than Ebola these days. What is wrong with being normal?

At the end of the day edgy people are going to have to accept that they will end up with the same normal boring jobs, with normal wives/husbands/something in between, living in normal houses, in normal towns.

Please don’t be this guy.

Why not just cut to the chase and save yourself miserable sober nights in God-awful “edgy” holes pretending to enjoy the filthy playlist bursting your eardrums.

Just accept that there is nothing better than getting smashed and singing along to Taylor Swift (or perhaps some house music with a dirty drop).

It will save you money, time and abuse.

Jimmy Saville called- he wants his jacket back

Surely proof that edginess is not all it’s cracked up to be is Cellar Door shutting down – I naively assumed this was the start of the end, but this new wave of edginess has come back with vengeance.

Edgy people all look and act so miserable.

Iis it just a coincidence that goths and emos no longer exist – have they been replaced by a new, more confident breed of youth trying to be different?

“Hipsters”, “Cellar Doories”, “twats”, “indie”, “wavey” whatever you want to call them.

Lads, your Grannies probably need their glasses back

Sure everyone likes a bit of rogue, that naughty beater, that cheeky night at Cavern and that flair shirt, but there is no need for go over the top and look like a mug – it’s not worth it.

Fair enough, some people are genuinely different, but if you’re not – don’t try to be. It’s painful and we can tell.

Oh dear. I’m pretty sure that’s a curtain from my great aunt Dorothy’s house, not a jumper.

So if you are sitting there feeling a bit pidge, and you decide you need to re-invent yourself; why not perfect your strawpedo, nail a worldie or join a slightly rogue society – you don’t need to go all out and become another edgy arsehole.

As on Cellar Door defector said “Put down the horse tranquiliser, snip off the top-knot and get to Arena.”

Regular folks – don’t worry, this beautiful irony makes it all worth it: too many edgy people make edgy stop being edgy which will finish edgy entirely.

But how long will this take and how many brothers and sisters will we lose to this ever-increasing cult?

Properly dressed. Properly boozed. The EUMCC – a shining beacon of hope in the war on edginess.

Please fresh, there’s nothing wrong with being yourself and being normal – don’t waste your time buying filthy tie-dye t-shirts, perfecting your top-knot and finalising your nu disco playlist.

Get loose in Arena on VK’s, buy first hand clothes, sport a decent lid and actually enjoy yourself.

Together we can stop edginess being “a thing”.