Don’t you hate it when you bring a guy back and he defecates in your laundry bin?
This is literally a media shitstorm
A house of second-years described themselves as “revolted” when they awoke on Monday morning to find their laundry bin covered in human faeces.
After a night out at Arena, the suspected perpetrator was a welcome guest at a house on Powderham Crescent.
He repaid the household for their hospitality by soiling the ground floor bedroom carpet, the cupboard and the laundry bin.
A bag containing more excrement was left by the door.
Mortified victim Jasmine, whose room was defiled, described the events as “absolutely horrifying.”
She said: “When I woke up I thought I was going to be sick and cry. It’s the most disgusting thing I’ve seen in my life.
“I feel really upset about what’s happened. I thought ‘does someone hate me this much?’
“I’m very annoyed because the cleaners were so expensive and I don’t even want to use my cupboard anymore.”
Following the befouling, a carpet cleaner was called at the expense of all the housemates, setting them back £70.
On arrival, she said “this is one job that can’t really wait.
“It’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard.”
Her housemate Harry said: “It’s fucking filthy.
“I was mortified, I thought ‘oh shit, someone’s done a crap in my house’.
“At first I was in a state of disbelief.
“I thought maybe a fox had come in or something. But no, it was an actual person.”
“I was so confused. I couldn’t understand why they did it, if they were trying to get a point across.
“I wasn’t scared, just cross.”
Nothing was stolen from the property.
Lock your doors.