Don’t you hate it when you bring a guy back and he defecates in your laundry bin?

This is literally a media shitstorm

| UPDATED exclusive

A house of second-years described themselves as “revolted” when they awoke on Monday morning to find their laundry bin covered in human faeces.

After a night out at Arena, the suspected perpetrator was a welcome guest at a house on Powderham Crescent.

He repaid the household for their hospitality by soiling the ground floor bedroom carpet, the cupboard and the laundry bin.

A bag containing more excrement was left by the door.

You really don’t want to see the uncensored version

Mortified victim Jasmine, whose room was defiled, described the events as “absolutely horrifying.”

She said: “When I woke up I thought I was going to be sick and cry. It’s the most disgusting thing I’ve seen in my life.

“I feel really upset about what’s happened. I thought ‘does someone hate me this much?’

“I’m very annoyed because the cleaners were so expensive and I don’t even want to use my cupboard anymore.”

Harry, left, and Jasmine, the horrified residents

Following the befouling, a carpet cleaner was called at the expense of all the housemates, setting them back £70.

On arrival, she said “this is one job that can’t really wait.

“It’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard.”

A bag of human waste

Her housemate Harry said: “It’s fucking filthy.

“I was mortified, I thought ‘oh shit, someone’s done a crap in my house’.

“At first I was in a state of disbelief.

“I thought maybe a fox had come in or something. But no, it was an actual person.”

Sadly these didn’t help with the job

“I was so confused. I couldn’t understand why they did it, if they were trying to get a point across.

“I wasn’t scared, just cross.”

Nothing was stolen from the property.

Lock your doors.