Exeter University to extend hours

Following demands on teaching space, some university ‘jobsworth’ has seriously suggested cutting into prime lashing time. (Not cool bro, not cool.)

With the recent increase in the number of students and modularity choices, the University claims it is struggling to cope and needs to extend the teaching hours.

With 8:30am lectures, AMT will make a killing

The proposed timetables include:

• lectures till 9pm on Thursdays,
• 9am to 7pm on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday
• starting at 8.30am each day of the week and finishing at 6.30pm on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

A university spokesperson said: “No-one will be expected to teach more hours or attend more lectures than they currently do” – although that isn’t really a primary concern when compared with the prospect of being alive for lectures at 8.30am.

An artist’s impression of what an 8pm lecture might look like…

The Students’ Guild has shown its opposition to the changes, as President Hannah Barton said: “I have serious concerns that changes to the teaching day will negatively impact on the student experience.”

However, the Guild is appealing for student feedback, as they launch a university-wide consultation, aiming to decide on a timetable by July and implement it for the 2015-16 academic year (unlucky fresh).

Students climbing Forum Hill at a humane time of day

Second year anthropology student Gemma Salter said: “First they think it’s acceptable to put exams on a Saturday and now they want to land this shit on me? Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

Fear not, though: the University will be keeping our Wednesday afternoons free so we can do ‘sport’ and ‘other activities.’ (Aka: sort out some ridiculous fancy dress before pre’s for the night’s social start.)