Twitter won’t make me care about your awful life

#twitterisawful #itsusersareawful #anddoingthisisawful

‘Men have become the tools of their tools’ – Henry David Thoreau

Many people love Twitter. Behind Facebook, it is the second most popular social media site in the world. It presents an opportunity to say whatever you like, whenever you like, to whomever you like.

Basically, it gives a public platform to fucking morons.

Some people think this is great. However, I am not one of them. 

One of the most annoying things about Twitter is its name. The word ‘tweet’ possesses wholly positive connotations – it suggests birds chirping softly in a tree.

What does not spring to mind at all is the mindless self-indulgent drivel that appears on Twitter.

The irony behind the name is evident and only serves to make an annoying process even more annoying. But this is the most minor of the site’s crimes.

I’m not saying that it’s completely useless. Obviously not all members use it to convey their every passing thought. However, when they do, it is infuriatingly tricky to endure.

I find it hard enough to bear the sight of what can only be described as a ‘saddo’, even on Facebook, filling everyone in on their day and all the riveting things that took place.

Literally just get a fucking life… 

The number of times I’ve seen a group of people, or even a couple, out at dinner both on their phones and not talking to each other. What the hell is the point of going for a meal if you aren’t going to talk to each other?! I’ll tell you what it is: so that they can Tweet on their phones about the very meal experience that they are wasting.

I have genuinely heard people in the past, when Twitter was still a growing phenomenon, say to a friend: ‘Mate, follow me and I’ll follow you back’.

Surely you should only ‘follow’ someone if you genuinely enjoy the prospect of reading their thoughts/ideas?! Not for some petty popularity contest. This is just another thing that symbolises the artificiality of the site and some of its users.

‘Might tweet about this later…’

The most insufferable users are the smug ones. I read a tweet a few weeks ago that read something along the lines of: ‘Just got honked by three different cars full of guys, wolf-whistled at by a guy on the other side of the street, and one guy almost crashed his car slowing down to check me out. So disappointed with how men treat women today #itsamansworld.’

I don’t disagree that we live in a society which still has work to do with regards to gender equality, but can anyone really argue that the agenda of this girl was to express her frustration towards male treatment of women?

What this really is, if we’re honest, is blatant arrogance masked by a bullshit societal qualm.

Hungover? Chilling at home? Why not share it with the whole of fucking cyberspace?

Though Twitter may have some redeeming features, I can honestly say that I will happily never join it.

Not because I’ve now shaped an opinion and want to fight my stubborn little corner in a petty and condescending manner, but because I genuinely disapprove of what Twitter has done to our society.

It has not only irreparably damaged the already endangered art of good old-fashioned conversation, but it also gives scope for douchebags to have their say. I know, I know, everyone has the right to free speech, but really should everyone have to endure it? Put the fucking phone down and have a chat with your mates!