Rugby league club fresher to wear official club uniform until Easter Sunday in fives forfeit

This is the moment second year Rob Haythorpe found out he’d be wearing ones for the next six weeks after losing a game of fives.

The club fresher was bested in the final of the notorious game of chance by fourth-year Tom Hartrick.

The final: Hartrick and Haythorpe face off

The killer blow: Hartrick wins two quick hands to send Haythorpe packing

The tradition, which dates back to the Ash Wednesday social of 2011, entails the loss of the right to choose what one wears for the course of Lent, including Sundays.

The only place Rob will fit in this March

The game involved 24 people, split into four groups of six, from which the losers played off in semi-finals and finals.

Rather embarrassingly for all those concerned, the last four in the competition were all senior members of the club.

This year’s loser, Haythorpe, goes shopping in Lidl

Speaking to Haythorpe in the aftermath of his loss, he said, “I just knew it was going to happen. My housemate lost last year, and he was psyching me out the whole time.”

The aforementioned housemate, Rhys Biggin, took great pleasure in his friend’s misfortune. He said, “It’s really funny for the first week, with people constantly thinking you’re on a walk of shame.”

He continued, “After the novelty of the first week wears off, it gets really shit. The sun comes out and you have to put up with everyone walking around in shorts and beaters, whilst you’re in Ones. And then there are the lectures…”

“… no, I didn’t pull last night, I’m actually wearing these out of choice.”

The game will last until 10am on Easter Sunday, when Rob will attend his local church for the Easter service, after which his dues will be paid and he can choose to wear normal clothes once more.

Spotted: Student amongst locals

Speaking on the history of Ones for Lent, EURL Social Sec, Franky Kibble, said, “It’s an important part of every year in the calendar of the club.

Inaugural loser Mike Stephenson showing how it isn’t done in Cellar Door 

“It’s one of the most anticipated socials of the year, and some of the cult figures in the club’s history have attained that status as a result of losing it.”

If any of you can identify the traitor Spartacus…

Rob had the final word on the 40 days and 40 nights that he will be spending in Ones, saying, “It’s really not ideal.”

It is a point of view that The Tab endorses entirely.

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