‘Cus girls just wanna have fun: Stages of a girl’s night out

From Spice Girls to cheesy chips, Corrie Gold takes you through the stages of an all-girl night out

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A girl’s night out is common sight in Exeter: Groups of anywhere between three and 30 girls, dressed up, drunk and, minus the L plates, basically indistinguishable from a hen night in Blackpool.

Arguably the ultimate feminist paradox, the girl’s night out appears to be a celebration of girl power, with the rejection of men’s company, whilst also embodying women’s independence.

Some girls even dare to go so far as not to shave their legs for the occasion, a true sign that it’s ladies’ night and the feeling’s right if even there was one.

Of course, such acts of defiance are also often accompanied by the classic black bodycon skirt, a day-long makeup routine, and the promise of a there being at least some chance of pulling when out.

But still, it is a woman’s right to choose, and choose to look as hot as she possibly can she shall. Common knowledge to all females, these nights can be clearly divided into three stages:

Hair and makeup

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The pain we women go through to look good

Much like A-List celebrities in Hollywood films, participants of the girl’s night out require at least four hours of getting ready time before leaving the house.

No detail is left unplanned, no area of the body neglected, the going-out preparations are organised with a precision rivalled only by military commanders.

A clear example of survival of the fittest at its best: each female must strive to hide all of her flaws and emphasis all of her assets in the most subtle-whilst-still-being-noticeable-to-everyone-else way, thereby ensuring they can assume the role of Pack Leader for the night.

However, as is often the case in the lives of the fairer sex, this seemingly aggressive ceremony is also the subject of a great deal of female bonding, being accompanied by constant gossiping, Taylor Swift, and, of course, just the one glass of wine.

Pre-drinks

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Someone always has to pretend they’re shouting, too

Having got through the compulsory last minute outfit change/hair drama/bottle of wine, the official pre-drinking can begin.

The first hour of this must, of course, be filled with taking a variety of photos in a rotation of the group long shot or the pair’s selfie.

The best-approved shots will then make appearances on Instagram and Facebook before the house has been left.

Music choices can be expanded here from chart music to a more cheesy theme. Usually, by the time the second bottle of wine has been consumed, ‘Man I Feel Like A Woman’ has been played at least twice, rivalled only by the start of Spice Girls ‘Wannabe’.

This part of the evening also involves establishing who is out on the pull, Facebook stalking any and every male the group knows is likely to be out that night, and nominating wingmen to help the matchmaking along.

Three rounds of vodka shots later (hic), the group is ready to go out into the wild.

The club

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Perfect opportunity for someone else photo-bombing

Having made it to the club, the group must now adapt to their new surroundings, replacing wine for Jungbombs and the group shot for a toilet mirror selfie.

It is highly likely that, by now, two members of the group have fallen out, cried, and made up again, and thus at least ten minutes must be set aside for makeup reapplication.

It is at this point the group can finally hit the dance floor and bust out the signature slut drops, bump ‘n’ grinds, and bend & snaps for all to see.

The ‘Single Ladies‘ dance will then be performed, accompanied by the native call of the girl’s night out group, the Woop.

Someone will have probably pulled at this point, whilst another will be throwing up in the loos.In the midst of all this drama, the rest of the group will have sought out the club’s photographer for yet more memorabilia from the evening.

The girl’s night will then finish with the purchasing of chips from the van outside Arena, the observation that eating said chips means a gym trip tomorrow, and complaints about the patriarchy’s unrealistic expectations of women.

Cue one last sing along to Icona Pop, one final gossip about the happenings of the evening, and the group must disperse home for bed – safe in the knowledge that the night has been so thoroughly documented through the medium of selfies.

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<3 selfies