Exeter’s Celebrity Lookalikes: Guys Edition

The Tab gives you the definitive guide to Exeter’s celebrity lookalikes

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Jonny Buck: Cruz Beckham

Yes, we’ve roped JB in for a bit more Tab-bashing, and not just because he’s the kind of person that needs to be continually poked fun at.

Aside from saying ‘mate’ roughly 50 times a minute, Jonny has something of a party trick – bearing an uncanny resemblance to, let’s be honest, most of David Beckham’s offspring (when they were prepubescent).

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Compared to the Beckhams? It could be far worse, Jonny

 TJ Nartey: Tempa T

He’s built like a Spartan warrior and technically the most popular guy around. (Sorry, did someone say BNOC?)

But TJ also has to regularly endure people shouting at him “TEMPA, SPIT US SOME BARS THEN!” And who can blame them? The lid, the chat, the raw, sexual magnetism – it’s all going on.

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Yeah, yeah, I’m still about, Teeeeeej

Lewis Lawrence: David de Gea

Lawrence is pretty much famous anyway for his acrobatic guitar playing, launching KINK at Cavern, and having his own record company.

But, most importantly, despite having not a drop of Spanish blood in him, Lewis and David look like brothers – not from another mother – but the exact SAME mother. (Comparison subject to quality of facial hair and football skills.)

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We think Lawrence might edge the facial hair contest

Ollie Norman: Jemaine Clement

Ollie’s hair may have now reached the transcendental heights of quiffdom, but once upon a time, namely October 2011, his locks sported more of an untamed, unruly energy.

Coupled with his signature gap-toothed beam, that means he and this New Zealander actor have – how can I put this? – exactly the same face.

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Ollie, you got it going ooooon. You got it goin’ on

Sam Baker: Neymar

Both keen footballers, and both possessing chiseled cheekbones, Sam Baker and Barcelona F.C. starlet Neymar – despite heralding from the opposite sides of the globe – are practically identical twins.

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Neymar (left); Baker (right)

However, whilst Neymar undoubtedly wins on the footballing front, we think Sam, a ubiquitous presence in Exeter’s nightlife, knows how to work the decks better than his Barcelona-based lookalike.

Freddie Thorp: Lee Ryan

This guy is just being selfish now. Officially crowned Exeter’s Finest Fresher AND, at certain angles, harking back to the chiselled fame of Lee Ryan – second fittest member of Blue aside from Duncan.

Now let’s ‘All Rise’ to the occasion and pelt him with lots of Blue-related puns. It’s only fair.

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U Make Me Wanna read the Tab

Ben King: Joe Marler

Firstly, Ben needs to be congratulated for growing the kind of facial hair that manages to be both majestic and terrifying. Secondly, it has an uncanny likeness to the beard of Harlequins player, Joe Marler.

This resemblance means he need only sneer at any bouncer and they let him right in, practically dry-humping his leg as they ask for autographs (Although Mr. King, with his bolting technique, is practically a local celebrity in his own right.)

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Ben King: a giant amongst us mere mortals

Andrew Curtis: Andrew Trimble

Both have hair so sandy and windswept that people are constantly trying to whisk them off to some sort of beach. Both have the kind of easy charm that can’t be taught.

Both are called Andrew. Minor hiccup in that Trimble is actually a rugby player; Curtis is Sports Editor of the Tab which really, technically, is exactly/kind of the same thing.

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Curtis wins the smile-off by (s)miles

Matthew Creagh: Hugh Jackman

“Hi there girls, I don’t know if you’ve seen Wolverine but um…” These are exactly the kind of lines that DON’T waft around smoking areas throughout Exeter.

Because when you have a similarity like Matt ‘that shit’ Creagh’s to Hugh Jackman, all you have to do is a quick impression of the retractable claws and girls are putty in your hands.

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Looking like an X-Men character equals X-rated action

 Alex Louch: Paul Collingwood

Alex is Vice President of Academic Affairs by day; by night, with the right lighting and a bit of squinting, he morphs into English an cricketer extraordinaire.

So forget everything you thought you knew: the guy is actually a batting all-rounder, combining natural strokeplay with great tenacity and highly regarded as one of the finest fielders of his time.

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Clearly, we’re in safe hands

Alfie Brixton: James van der Beek

We seriously, and I mean SERIOUSLY, considered listing Alfie’s look-a-like as his brother Archie ‘for the lolz’. After much consideration, we figured that the parallel with Dawson from Dawson’s Creek simply had to be drawn.

One of these men has kissed Katie Holmes

One of these men has kissed Katie Holmes in the library