Being a BNOC (Big Name On Campus) is an accolade most of us can only dream of.

In fact, I didn’t even know what a BNOC was during my first year.

Like many, I used the phrase without actually knowing what it meant.

I only earned my title as one of them in my second year, but eager Freshers are more than welcome to start early.

I would say that the best approach is not to appear too desperate to get this acclaimed status.

Stumble accidently on purpose on it; those that try too hard will ultimately fail and only ever achieve wannabe status.

Here, then, are my top tips for how to stumble across BNOC status:

1. Be outrageous:

Go clubbing a lot, bond with random students in clubs over cheap Jagerbombs, get a reputation for being a party animal.

The crazier your antics on a night out, the better. Just don’t chunder.

You should be on first name terms with the bouncers at clubs or at least have a reputation that precedes you.

And when you do go out, unlike this bloke, smile a lot.

2. Bed-hop:

When entering Arena, I’m often greeted with the warm welcome of “it’s you again! How long till you pull someone tonight?”

Casual sex just isn’t taboo any more, so get out there and make a name for yourself in the boudoir!

And yes, the walk of shame does count as exercise.

Wherever you are, this is how it often begins.

3. Sports:

Being a gym bunny and partial to playing team sports helps.

It also helps with point #1 because of the copious amount of socials (and alcohol) that our sports teams have.

You also get to check out lats like these.

4. Be controversial:

The best way to do this is either by debating on campus or writing for any form of university media.

Make sure your arguments have evidence, though.

Creating controversy for its own sake will only show you up as trying too hard.

We never try to create controversy at The Tab.

Although I live by these rules, I didn’t choose the BNOC life: the BNOC life chose me.

I was unaware that drinking, having sex and writing things that provoke hate mail would get me the coveted title of BNOC.

Therefore, the best approach is the natural, unsuspecting approach. Do all of the above effortlessly, as though you genuinely live life like this, and you shall, trust me, succeed.

Editor’s Note: Coming soon to The Tab: BNOC of the Year 2013.