How to Turn a Walk of Shame into a Stride of Pride
Make it a hero’s hike, not a step of regret.
It seems that whenever you find yourself waking up after a messy night in someone else’s bed, you’re wearing the most obvious walk of shame clothing you possibly could be. We’re talking sequin body-con skirt, face-paint everywhere and the tell-tale Arena stamp on your arm.
Some would argue this is the time to run home so quick you leave a dust cloud behind you. Here at The Tab, though, we believe there is no shame in getting lucky and you should go home with your head held high.
For your first-timers, we recommend…
1. Finding a vehicle:
If you’re lucky enough to find money in your pocket, or (for girls) even in your bra, get a taxi home. The lovely men of Capital and Gemini have seen it all so ‘ride with pride’. However, if the endless doubles and cheesy chips from the night before have left you penniless, it might be time to pull out that favour your housemate owes you and get chauffeured home.
And for the more well-seasoned one-night standers…
2. ‘Borrow’ stash from last night’s conquest:
A hoody, socks, his/her duvet – everyone will still know what you’ve been doing, but you won’t be dying of cold on the way home, will you?
3. Location, location, location:
Don’t take the long way home JUST to avoid bumping into people you might know. If you’re striding with pride, you shouldn’t need to alter your route, even if it means you’re spotted in the forum wearing last night’s Minnie Mouse outfit.
4. Phone a friend:
It makes the walk home go a bit quicker and you can fill them in on the escapades of the night before, loud and proud for all to hear.
5. Strut your stuff:
As opposed to shuffling home in shame or sprinting faster than Usain Bolt, sway those hips, flick your hair and channel your inner Beyoncé (boys, we’re taking to you too!).
Happy striding folks!