It’s what we’ve all been waiting for: the final of The Great British Bake Off! To help with the nerves as we wait to see who is crowned this year’s winner (go Ruby!), here’s a little light entertainment. (Warning: by the halfway point, you may well be completely off your face.)

Drink ONE finger:

• Whenever you see a bit of wildlife e.g. sheep, squirrels etc.
• If you’d eat what’s on your screen.
• If you find yourself strangely attracted to Paul Hollywood.

Hollywood approves of drinking during GBBO…

Drink TWO fingers:

• Whenever there’s an innuendo.

Something for after the drinking game?

• Whenever Sue or Mel make puns.
• When Paul Hollywood pierces someone’s heart with his blue eyes.
• Whenever they say something in French.
• When Kimberley beams her bright whites, 2 fingers.

Drink THREE fingers:

• If something’s over-baked.
• …or if something’s under-baked.
• Whenever Ruby says she’s shit or her bakes are shit.

We’d still eat it Ruby

• Soggy bottom? 3 fingers.
• If the crème patissiere isn’t as it should be.
• If at any point you think ‘I wish Mary Berry was my nan’.

My nan doesn’t even know what a meringue is…

Drink FOUR fingers:

• Any time you think ‘I could bake better’.
• When Frances is accused of having ‘style over substance’.

And when the winner is announced:

• Bolt a full glass of whatever you’re drinking; then do a shot of anything alcoholic that’s in sight.
• As an extension of the above rule, if Ruby wins, you have to chug a glass of red wine (because ruby port isn’t as nice).