Miss XXXeter: One Night Stands

One morning whilst sat on the edge of jetty in Spain, I witnessed a sight many of us laugh at.  

Emerging from one of the many multi-million pound boats around me, I saw two girls dressed in minimal attire, shall we say, trotting off towards town with heads determinedly bowed: a definite walk of shame.

So what is it about one night stands that we crave? Why do we lose our inhibitions and give ourselves to strangers so liberally?

We women suddenly forget about babies, chlamydia and our feelings – why isn’t he returning my calls?! – and throw ourselves into the arms (and then the crotches) of random strangers we often meet the night before in a sorry, bleary-eyed state.

The Appeal

Is it sexual need? Our physical want and desire? Our craving for gratification and the hot, sticky scent of sex on our bodies afterwards? Is it the longing for the warmth of another’s body against our own and the sharp, delightful pang of orgasm that suddenly shudders through us?

For me? Yes. For blokes, who often don’t have any regard for STIs and even less for baby-making? Also yes. It’s innate. It’s what we were born to do. In our sexually liberated culture, when we could explore our love of sex with so many others, why must we only share it with just one person? Through one night stands, we learn from our experiences and enjoy sex more, gratifying ourselves without the need for emotions or love.

Sometimes we may have one night stands to make ourselves feel better. If we are lacking self-esteem or have been through a break-up, we use casual sex as an escape. Our orgasmic release becomes a moment of forgetting our problems, or simply a means of proving we have still got it.

And sometimes we can be naïve, believing that by having sex with someone else they might forget all others and declare their love for you – which, let’s be honest, is usually us girls!

So where should we tread carefully?

As much as we might think one night stands are the don, studies show that women experience much higher levels of regret and feel more ‘used’ after letting a stranger slide between their legs.

Men, meanwhile, are more likely to want to tell their friends (for lad points) and only tend to regret an unfortunate case of beer-goggle-itus.

One night stands aren’t going to make you feel loved, and are equally unlikely to start a relationship. But the release of casual sex can bring is refreshingly physical and, when it’s good, deeply satisfying.

My advice? Think before you bonk…