#happyvalentinesday

Maya Mills on how technology has changed the way we love.


With Valentine’s Day now upon us, it seemed appropriate to take a look at just exactly how we initiate and maintain our relationships today in the 21st century.

A far cry from long awaited love letters delivered by pigeon or horseback, today’s forms of communication reflects our 21st century passion for speed and ease.

Texts, social networking sites and Skype are all examples of our new found means of flirting, meeting partners and maintaining relationships with anyone around the world… even those we have possibly never even met before!

But has this recent global frenzy of ‘winky faces’ and ‘ily’ killed the suspense and apprehension that once kept long-term romances alive?

“Never!” scream the online daters- which, ladies and gentlemen, make up almost two fifths of Britain’s population today! Despite the stigma that still attaches itself to flirting or meeting your partners online, it is rapidly becoming one of the most common and popular means of dating and is possibly a great deal civilised than a cheeky grope in Legend’s Corner.

However, facts do also show that men who publicise incomes higher than £150,000 on their dating profiles received more emails… Big up Exeter’s single 3rd year “Goldrushers”!

On a less cynical note, the increasing popularity of ‘Skype’ and ‘Facetime’ has seen desperate, long distance lovers jump for joy at the prospect of sending kisses to each other over dodgy Wi-Fi connections, in an attempt to maintain their relationships.

Some have even been known to take this phenomenon to the extreme and eat a romantic candle-lit dinner together in front of their laptops, something that would’ve sounded most peculiar twenty-five years ago, oh wait…

For the vast majority of those in a relationship however, the increasing pressure to reply to a message instantly or ‘untag’ yourself in photos your partner won’t be impressed with, will know that it not only adds incredible strain to a relationship, but also kills the mystical suspense of love and romance.

Knowing exactly what your partner ate for lunch –and perhaps even being a sent a photo of it via MMS- is not only time consuming, but feeds into an unhealthy cycle of paranoia and control.

One of the most notorious culprits encouraging this is ‘WhatsApp’, with its killer ‘Last Seen’ icon…every poor, insecure soul’s worst nightmare.

Facebook has quickly copied this ‘Big Brother’ feature its instant chat, only further adding salt to the wound and crushing hopes of budding romances with the evidence of ignorance!

Facebook flirting has also become the norm. A cheeky ‘like’ of a photo could see you quickly chatting away for hours online with a practical stranger, who you might later find far too close for comfort on top floor at Timepiece!

Perhaps the particularly “laddish” culture experienced at Exeter has coloured my vision, but I was recently informed by reliable rugby sources that anyone still left in Timepiece after 12pm was “butters” and to be left alone at all costs, as if we’re clubbing in some kind of 21st century Cinderella plot. Who said romance was dead, eh?!

The past twenty five years’ development in technology and its effect on how we flirt online and in reality is dramatic and perhaps a little ‘cringey’.

Whilst its convenience and speed is undeniable, who would have thought before social networking, that religiously stalking a crush’s Monday ‘4play Events’ photos would become socially acceptable?!

The abnormal confidence that online chats and too much vodka give us to say things we’d die with shame saying in a person and sober, along with our carefully edited profiles that reveal only our most attractive assets, – whilst being a revelation to the shyer members among us – can only become a slippery slope to disappointment!