Your New Sabbs: The Low-Down

After seven days of wasting paper and shit onesies, last night we discovered the five lads and lasses who will be running the Guild and AU for the coming year.

Here, the Tab gives you an insight into what we can expect from our new Sabbs.

Ran on a straight-forward manifesto, promising a rent freeze, cheaper food options and free printing credits. Nose ring believed to be deciding factor in victory. Easy to lose yourself in her eyes.

Encouraged voters to ‘grab a towel and vote for Powell’ – either a reference to her desire for a Streatham based swimming pool or a “slogan that she thought was fine purely because it rhymes”. Quite fit.

Wants to cut printing costs, create a module finder and ban students from using JSTOR if they don’t return library books. Spent the week dressed as a tiger.

Hashtagged all the promises in his manifesto so I didn’t read them. #ProbablyANiceBloke.

Plans to start a campaign regarding student use of Facebook and Twitter. Bears a passing resemblance to the weedy annoying one from Spartacus. Bit of a shlid.