Cage fighting, sexualised e-mails and the aftermath of THAT blowjob

As voting week opens, The Tab investigates your thoughts on the Guild Elections and it ain’t pretty.

| UPDATED guild elections sab sabbs student elections Vox Pop

Election season is upon us and it seems the majority of students are being turned off by the aggressive heckling, the dull manifestos and the crap penny sweets used to bribe us for our votes.

 

SSB scandal proves we need fiercer reps

Laura Le Brocq, a 4th year English and French student, hates the “used to be head girl at school quotes”. She added “it’s good to vote so we don’t get idiots in” even though” the Sabs don’t have much power”. She “wasn’t impressed” with the Guild’s reaction to Safer Sex Ball CCTV leak and says we need “fiercer reps” as we need to “safeguard against bad press for employability”.

However, Maria Panayiotou thinks a contributing to “the next blowjob gate video” might be the only way forward. “That would get their name out there and everyone would vote for them”.

 

Manifestos are dull

Jack Newton, a 2nd year Philosophy student is bored of reading stuff, claiming “the only relationship I have with the current President is that he sends me naff sexualised emails”. He thinks manifestos are “boring”, and says it would be much better to see candidates actively prove themselves before we vote them in. “I would be interested to see how each of them could use £20 and one week to improve the university”.

Other students agreed that the elections need a bit of a shake-up.

Eric Prenzlin, a 2nd year International Relations student suggested “cage fighting would be fun” in place of manifestos, but thinks candidates should really consider “flash mob lecture interventions”.

Hannah, a 4th year German student, disagrees. She likes the traditional approach with a written manifest but admits she’d like to see more of a “passing of the Gauntlet” from the old Sabs to the new.

 

Elections are worse than getting off with a local

Some students claim that nothing could draw their interest.

Max Makin, a 4th year French and Spanish student, claims that he is “not interested and never has been”, but wouldn’t like to see the elections turn into a popularity contest to try to earn the vote of uninterested students like himself.

George Goddard, a 3rd year Maths student agrees with him, claiming “it shouldn’t be about who makes the most noise” and that tactics like Damien Jefferies’ Gladiator stunt are “childish … candidates should be more respectable”.

Only time will tell how this year’s candidates will combat students’ waning interest and go for the win. Elections start today and close next Friday at 4pm, with the results being announced in the Lemmy at 8pm.