BNOC of the Year: Group Four

The Tab unveils the final group of contenders for BNOC of the Year. Vote for your favourite.

| UPDATED bnoc of the year chris rea George Richardson Hugh Pickering jess phillips matt mcdonald matt thatcher Nick Davies Solly Akhtar University of Exeter

And so, after weeks of egotistical back-slapping, fervent sycophancy and vitriolic comments, we reveal Group Four of BNOC of the Year.

A late surge saw Hugh “Southpaw” Pickering win last week’s group stage with 28% of the vote. 4Play aficionado George Richardson took second place with 25%, and the week’s most abused candidate Solly Akhtar stole into third with 23%.

Without further ado, here are the five names that complete your top 20.

 

Nick ‘Welshy’ Davies


Because any list of BNOCs that doesn’t feature the Guild President would be an absolute joke. Welshy has had a meteoric rise during the last four years at Exeter, from his humble beginnings as a lowly Law student, to being “my man” behind the bar at the Lemmy, before eventually making the traditional “Rag to Sabb” jump in a dance as ancient as time itself. It even says it on his bloody shirt!

 

Matt Thatcher


A 2nd year sports science student, he is already well known on St Luke’s and he is working his way to fame on the main campus. He used to call himself the Social King of Rowancroft because he knew everyone and everything. He does promo work for Original Sin and you’d be surprised how many girls have fallen for the line “I’m the face of Original Sin”. Sometimes he whips out his “I used to be the head boy of a private school in Bristol” card and I’m afraid that worked on some drunk freshers. He is involved in organising things on his course and St Luke’s and although he complains that his phone is always ringing, he secretly loves being a busy popular bee. He talks a lot, making it out that he is a big deal and hence gets a lot of friendly banter for it. He is hated by some, but as he says there is no such thing as bad press: if you are hated then you are known. Thatch is the perfect candidate for the BNOC, he even sometimes refers to himself as exactly that.

 

Chris Rea


As EUMHC’s first team keeper, young Christopher is rumoured to be as fierce between the sheets as he is between the sticks. More than being “just another Original Sin boy on the BNOCs list”, he is one of Exeter’s most successful entrepreneurs. Not only is he the managing director of the ubiquitous onesie brand Young Ones, but also the brains behind those green and white woolly hats that were all the rage on campus circa 2010. Also opened up his Vic Street home to the masses during last year’s summer term for the “Great Barrier Reef” party, lauded in history as the gassiest Saturday in Devon.

 

Jess Phillips


Unsurprisingly, the buxom brunette barmaid from the Vic makes the cut for the final group. Jess Phillips is something of a Renaissance woman, balancing her leading role in the upcoming Footlights production with her co-ordination of Exeter’s most popular student acoustic night, Encore! Tuesdays at Mama Stones, where she regularly entertains with her angelic voice. Along side this, she resides in one of Exeter’s foremost “named” houses. A shoe-in.

 

Matt McDonald

Matt McDonald. Not so much a big name as an event in himself, a cultural phenomenon: the only belief that exceeds Matt’s own belief in the largeness of his name is that of others. Standing at the prow of the Good Ship Tab, McDonald has won the hearts and minds of the Exeter student populace with every word he has published over the last nine months. Matt also co-ordinates the social side of Exeter’s rugby league side with a jaunty flair and bombast known to bring his team-mates to tears every Wednesday at Mosaic. Those who are blessed enough to share seminars with Matt describe him variously as “full of witty repartees”, “charming” and “so handsome that my fellow students have to restrain me from piledriving him through the walls of the Forum”. Fun fact: allegedly has a two-year-old son, “somewhere”.