The Tab meets Jamie Laing

Dirty Sexy People at Arena is the newest phenomenon to hit our Monday night scene.

Headed by Original Sin‘s George Paige, it has so far been nothing but a huge success. Previous weeks have seen Glo-Bots, some of Exeter’s hottest DJ’s, YoungOne’s giveaways and minimally dressed hosts encouraging all you party-goers to #GetDirty.

This week certainly lived up to the high standards set in previous week with an appearance from Jamie Laing, Made In Chelsea’s resident cutie who never seems to get the girl.

Some ‘lah di dah’ chit chat between Jamie, Original Sin and The Tab, saw Jamie asking how many of us drove Range Rovers and telling us about this one time he “was skiing in Val d’Isere”… Here’s what he had to say.

What makes you a Dirty Sexy Person?

“I have a really massive penis, and I use it… in really dirty ways”

What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen written about you?

“That I wear women’s clothes during sex”

Rolex or Breitling?

“Rolex”

Bluebird or Embargo?

“Bluebird”

Blonde or Brunette?

“Brunette, although all of my past girlfriends have been blonde”

Caggie or Millie?

“Caggie”

Hobnob or Digestive?

“Digestive”

Hockey or Netball girls?

“Hockey” (cue sharp intake of breath from the three surrounding Netball girls)

Would I make a good candy kitten?

“Absolutely” (with no encouragement whatsoever)

Are you recruiting tonight?

“YES”

Favourite sweet?

“These French ones that look like surfboards, like half and half different colours and sours, HYPE” (what on earth does that even mean?)

Is this your first time in Exeter?

“YES. I love the carpet vibe, that’s sick, I love carpeted clubs” (as he admires the worn floor in the Arena manager’s dingy office and takes in a sniff of its putrid scent)

Spencer had a little sleepover the last time he came to Exeter, do you plan to do the same?

(Incredibly quickly with wide eyes) “YES”

Binky visited Exeter last week and suggested that there may be something between you in series four, have you anything to add to that?

“Yes, she fancies me… and I fancy her”

Seen any hotties so far this evening?

“YES (as he charmingly indicates to all the girls in the room), but they all look so young, is this an underage night?” Ummm, not quite Jamie, no.

Tell us, what was the deal with Spencer choosing Khloe on The Bachelor over Tabby?

“Yeah obviously Tabby was a cutie but to be honest he was going out with Louise the whole time.”

What, actually going out?

“Yeah, they’re still going strong now.”

And how about you and Louise, what was the deal there?

“Well, it wasn’t really anything. It was ok. I’m a virgin anyway.”

On that note, Jamie, looking more than comfortable (and, might I add, incredibly orange) with the beautiful Original Sin promo girls and a bottle of Grey Goose in hand, makes an exit into our beloved Arena to the awaiting crowds of screaming girls and boys pretending they are too cool to care.

The question is: Will he ‘do a Spencer’ and find himself snuggled up to an eligible bachelorette? Or will he find himself alone in his dingy hotel room with his tag-a-long mates? We shall see.