‘Poo’ on the floor at Hive was actually just a scrunchie, club says

This brings a whole new meaning to ‘Dirty Dancing’

With the exam period drawing to a close (finally) for many students, the clubs of Cowgate are the place to go to destress after months of revision and unwind with friends. 

However, an unknown clubber seems to have taken this sentiment to a whole new level, with reports of apparent human faeces being spotted on the dance floor of Hive last Wednesday night at the “Pre Bey party”.

According to an eyewitness, Daisy Casemore, the incident drew the attention of fellow clubbers for a brief period, being circled before it was pushed aside. Dancing then apparently continued throughout the night, quickly forgetting the incident. 

Speaking about the events of the night, she said: “We were all dancing and then suddenly a vicious dance circle erupts. I thought it was my chance to shine, but alas, someone had shat on the floor.

“Everyone circled around it for five minutes, and then a random girl kicked it to the side, and the dancing continued.”

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However, the whole incident seems to be a misunderstanding, with Hive manager Chris Williams telling the Edinburgh Tab that when staff investigated they found it was actually a scrunchie. He said: “This is all quite funny. We were made aware of this by a group screaming on the dancefloor, but when staff went to the dance floor to investigate it was a “hair scrunchie” part of the giveaway stuff from our ‘Pre Bey party’ were we were handing out hats, scrunchies and sunglasses.

“I can assure you there was no human faeces on the dance floor”.

Weirdly enough, however, this type of behaviour is not new to Edinburgh clubs, back in 2017 clubbers had to be “evacuated” from Why Not after a woman was caught defecating on the LED dancefloor.

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