A definitive guide to the toilets on Edinburgh Uni’s central campus

The Bayes Centre toilets are where our tuition money goes

1 year ago

While you might not think it, toilets are an essential part of the Edinburgh Uni experience—after all, @edinburgh_uni_toilets exists for a reason.

Whether you’re looking for the best background for a mirror selfie, a private spot for your post-tutorial cry session, or simply just the perfect place to do your business, the Edinburgh Tab visited a selection of Edinburgh Uni’s toilets in order to provide a definitive guide to the toilets on campus.

We know you’re on the edge of your seat so here are our ratings ranked from best to worst!

School of Literatures, Languages, and Cultures – 5/5

Might nominate them for the loo of the year award

Toilets? No, the School of Literatures, Languages, and Cultures bathrooms are an oasis. Private, secluded and with a calming wood interior—what’s not to love?

The natural lighting means it’s golden hour 24/7 and with a full-length mirror, it’s like these toilets were designed for a photoshoot.

If you’re struggling with an assignment or just not having the best day, come to these toilets, I guarantee you’ll leave them feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready to conquer the day.

Bayes Centre – 4.5/5

Just look at that toilet paper supply!

With gender-inclusive individual cubicles, the Bayes Centre toilets are as private as you can get and are probably more spacious than a Marchmont box room.

I highly recommend them for when you just need an in-between-classes cry, unless you have an aversion to the colour yellow. With an abundance of loo roll and paper towels, you’re set for a good cry.

Despite the space and privacy, there were no period products, which is a bit fishy for a building dedicated to Data Science and seems to reinforce gender stereotypes.

Law Library – 4/5

So much space you could probably host pres here tbh

I was pleasantly surprised by the Law Library loo. With private cubicles, these toilets are perfect for when the stiflingly quiet library atmosphere gets a little too much and you just need to get away from your desk. Along with ample space, each cubicle has its own heater, so feel free to camp out and enjoy the warmth.

The only word of warning is that these toilets are in the basement, and you do have to walk through the lower level study space to get to them—just prepare yourself to receive a few glares from Law students engrossed in their readings.

Business School – 4/5

Would honestly become a Business student just to use these toilets

While not the most private, this was the cleanest bathroom I encountered on campus. Even the menstrual products were organised into different boxes. The sinks look like they should belong in some investment banking firm bathroom, quite fitting for the Business School.

The only thing stopping me from giving these toilets a 5/5 was the downright dull and basic grey colour scheme. Doesn’t capitalism breed innovation?

Main Library – 3/5

This is the emptiest the library toilets have ever been

With their distinctive blue colour palette, a mirror selfie in the Main Library toilets lets everyone on your Insta story know that you actually went to the lib that day (even if you accomplished nothing).

However, these toilets are pretty overrated. Say goodbye to privacy because there will always be other people hanging out in the bathroom to avoid going back to work and you’re bound to run into someone from your tutorial that day.

You’d think these toilets were TMZ headquarters for the amount of gossip you overhear in them: perfect for an entertaining study break but not much else.

Potterrow – 2.5/5

Do they remind anyone else of a doctor’s office???

While the abundance of stalls means you’ll never have to queue for the loo, there’s something off about the Potterrow toilets. The lighting is a little too artificial, there seems to always be a tap running, and the toilets might bring back memories of Big Cheese that you’d rather forget.

The stall doors don’t go all the way down to the floor, and while this is normal to any American student, be prepared for your shoes to be on display for everyone else to judge.

Teviot – 1.5/5

I feel like they’re haunted

I’ll start this off by saying that these toilets were so draining I genuinely considered going to the Library Bar for a pint afterward.

Privacy? She doesn’t exist here. The constant flow of people coming in and out made me feel like I was in some observational study. The stalls are so small that fitting inside with your full backpack and puffer coat becomes an impossible task. There’s an indescribable feeling of stress in the air that evades your pores and makes you want to get out of there ASAP.

The tap water was also obscenely hot, great if you fancy making yourself a cup of tea, but not the best for hand-washing.

That concludes the Edinburgh Tab’s guide to toilets on central campus. Do with this information what you will, but maybe it’ll encourage you to try out a loo you’ve never used before (ie: any other toilet beside the Teviot ones).