Edinburgh students tell us about their nightmare neighbours

If your neighbour throws a brick through your window, contact the police not The Tab


Nightmare neighbours, we’ve all had them or, let’s face it, been them. In halls whether your idea of a good Tuesday night was pres at top volume, or complaining about those pres, chances are you were someone’s nightmare neighbour.

If you managed to get lucky and your corridor was full of people happy to party until dawn, you will have got a nasty shock after moving to Marchmont, where chances are there is at least one family with young children in your building.

Whether their method is passive aggressive notes or straight on calling the police, many of us are not strangers to neighbours’ complaints.

So, over on The Edinburgh Tab’s Instagram we asked Edi students for their worst nightmare neighbour stories.

From pet rats to bricks through windows, you guys had a lot of stories to share:

‘Texted my flatmate to tell her they could ‘hear everything you and your bf are doing”

They’ve clearly never had to stay in uni accommodation.

‘Contacted the council and landlord bc I was ‘washing up too loudly”

Some say a vigorous washing up is worse than a rave.

‘Neighbours threatened to kill me and my partner, needless to say we moved’

This one does put the others in perspective.

‘Kept sending us noise complaints about us running the taps too loud and going to the toilet at night’

To be fair you sound out of control.

‘Neighbour came over at 11pm to tell us to shut up. He broke our front door knocking’

That’s a powerful knock.

‘He’s a shagger, the walls literally shake’

Don’t how you can phrase this complaint to them.

‘Being woken up to baby shark and a screaming baby at 4am is the best form of birth control’

Guess you won’t be offering to babysit any time soon.

‘Nearly got the letting agency to put a curfew on us after we hosted pres one time’

Does this neighbour think they’re an RA?

‘Guy downstairs has police visits at least once a week. Would be fine if he didn’t use our address’

He must know this trick won’t work forever.

‘Passive aggressive Christmas card’

Sounds like a humbug.

‘Our neighbours pour water over us when we’re smoking outside in the garden’

Guess that’s one way to deal with a potential fire hazard.

‘Our neighbour threw a brick through our window’

Oh dear, I really hope you have contacted the police as well as The Edinburgh Tab.

‘Playing Wii tennis at midnight and we get a knock on the door and the police were there’

We’ve all been there, for me it was Just Dance.

‘Parties during exam season and threw up out their windows onto ours below where it froze’

Never had the task of cleaning frozen vomit, I don’t envy you.

‘Got shouted at for 10 min by a neighbour for helping another neighbour open the front door’

Just not very neighbourly is it.

‘I could hear them having a party in their room with lots of people when I knew they had Covid’

Maybe they were all wearing suits, in which case it was a meeting.

‘Opening my parcel and leaving it opened in the hallway (not stealing anything)’

Very creepy, stealing it almost would have been better.

‘Complained (via passive aggressive note) that we walk too loud around our flat in the day’

A nightmare neighbour’s favourite form of complaint, a passive aggressive note.

‘Our neighbour once told us to stop having ‘soirees’. I think we’re the nightmare neighbours’

You have lived long enough to become the villain.

‘She has a Barbie fetish Instagram and we receive her ‘customised’ Barbie packages’

It’s an awkward package to return.

‘We have an amateur opera singer who practices pre 8:30 am’

Pre??

‘Was woken at 4am (on a Thursday) by a party so loud I thought it was in my own flat’

Not fun.

‘Has given me 19 noise complaints this year, yet sits on his computer all day screaming’

The height of hypocrisy.

‘Woke up to them having INSANELY loud sex at 7am on a Sunday. 7AM!! On a Sunday!!’

Not on a Sunday!

‘Calls RAs to complain the second it turns 10 (Brae house noise curfew) on Saturday night’

It hurts most when fellow students betray you.

‘Some guy offered my flatmate his dead wife’s shoes’

Perhaps a (creepy) welcome to the building?

‘Neighbour shouted at us for bringing our shopping in too loudly at 4pm cause of his baby’

What does their baby have against a weekly Lidl shop?

‘Backstory they had previous rats but died cause they weren’t looked after properly. They lied about having another pet rat, but it just ran about the entire flat and in the walls’

There are way too many rats in this story for my liking.

‘They had sex with the door open’

Was it on a Sunday though?

Recommended related articles by this writer:

• We asked Edi students what the most money they’ve spent on a night out is

Edinburgh students share the harshest feedback they’ve ever received on an assignment

Edinburgh students tell us their biggest first year regrets