How to survive ten days stuck in isolation with your uni flatmates

It’s the biggest test of friendship known to man tbh

2 years ago

The dreaded time has come, Omicron has finally caught up with you. Perhaps it was that questionable guy you kissed in WhyNot or the annoyingly loud cougher in the lib, either way you’ve received that dreaded positive lateral flow and you now have up to ten long days of isolation ahead of you. Better yet, it’s not just you – your entire flat has been dealt the same hand and the group chat is currently exploding with “omg guys I’m positive” messages.

So, how does one survive ten days in a small Marchmont flat with virtually no heating and a possible mouse infestation without slowly descending into insanity? Well rest assured, The Edinburgh Tab has got you covered:

1. Use this as the perfect excuse to not touch Learn once

You’ve emailed all your tutors with a mini essay each declaring yourself bed-bound and unable to attend uni for at least the next week (what a shame), so now it’s time to relax and pretend that you’ve got a mini Omicron-induced holiday. Even the simplest of tasks feel overwhelming, with replying to an email likely to write you off for an entire day.

The attention seeker in you also can’t help finishing off every poorly worded email or piece of submitted work with “I’ve got covid” just to gain an extra bit of sympathy. Honestly, If you aren’t treating your mild cough and slight sore throat with the same energy you’d treat the bubonic plague then you’re doing something wrong.

2. Organise your own bar or club crawl

It’s day five of isolation and you’ve gone into a deep depression from watching what seems to be the entirety of Edinburgh’s student population post multiple instagram stories from Gari’s and Subway. The desperation is so intense that even the idea of Hive sounds appealing…

However, there is a solution to this severe form of FOMO: create your own. With each bedroom, the kitchen and even the toilet able to be a new bar or club, accompanied by a couple of LED lights and a dodgy homemade Gari’s special in hand. Plus, if you get drunk enough and shut your eyes you can almost pretend that you’re squashed up against drunk and sweaty Napier boys listening to the same playlist on repeat.

Bonus points of clubbing from home include saving money on Ubers AND not having to queue in the cold (it’s the little wins).

3. Google all the fun Edinburgh things you can do when you’re free

Picture this: it’s another day in isolation and you’re staring longingly out of the window like a prisoner of war, picturing all of the fun things you’ll be bound to get up to when you’re finally released. Whether it’s a castle outing, a sunset walk up Arthurs Seat or even swimming in the beach at Portobello, the possibilities are endless and you’ve never been so keen to explore Edinburgh in your life.

In reality, you’ll probably come out of isolation and continue to only ever see the lib, The Meadows and George Square, with an occasional trip to Holyrood House when your mental health is rapidly declining. Nonetheless, this really is a good time to do some googling and find out all the incredible things Edinburgh has to offer to get you excited about going outside again.

4. Online shop all day everyday

When the feelings of boredom, isolation and self-pity have built to their max, there really is only one answer: online shopping to your heart’s content. Had £150 worth of PLT dresses that you’ll probably never wear in your basket for the last two weeks? Well now is your time to purchase without regret.

Better yet, with an influx of clothes, useless Amazon items and jelly cats being delivered daily, there’s always something to keep you entertained (or a fashion show to be had).

Call me Rishi Sunak – I’m singlehandedly saving the economy with every purchase

6. Plan a mid-iso Come Dine With Me night

It’s no secret that cooking whilst in isolation is generally a big no. Nobody has touched a pan in days and the Domino’s delivery driver now knows you by name (it’s happened to the best of us).

However, for the sake of your internal organs who haven’t seen a vegetable in days and your severe overdraft, consider a Come Dine With Me night. With each flatmate in charge of a different course or entertainment, it gives you all the chance to get dressed up and finally use that unopened cookbook someone’s mum forcibly gave them on the first day of Freshers.

10/10 would recommend a Harry Styles cardboard cutout to accompany you and your flatmates isolation period

6. Workout together

If you’re even considering this option then you’re either still trying to keep up with your New Year’s resolution or really have reached the peak of insanity. Either way, this actually is a fun group activity that passes some time and is bound to get you a couple of noise complaints. It’s time to relive the first lockdown all over again, with Chloe Ting and Joe Wicks ready to make you feel incredibly insecure about your lack of fitness ability.

7. Set yourselves the task of seeing how long you can go without crying

Honestly if you can go more than three days without getting slightly teary eyed at the fact that it’s literally illegal to set foot out of your front door then you’re slightly psychopathic.

Not only does this normalise a daily breakdown but also gives it a competitive edge. Because if you can’t make light of you and your flatmates suffering and depressive episodes then are you really friends?

8. Try and go viral on TikTok

You can’t help but feel slightly bitter that Addison Rae has become a millionaire by simply making 30 second TikTok dancing videos whilst you’re about to be 50 grand in debt for a stupid piece of paper. “How hard can it be to be Tik Tok famous”, you can yourselves.

So, it’s time for you and your flatmates to spend an entire afternoon getting unironically stuck into some TikTok trends, wondering how simply dancing for under a minute has got you so sweaty and out of breath.

The embarrassment is real, however, when you’ve finally perfected that draft and psyched yourself up for the upload for it to only receive five likes (three of which are your other flat mates) and 0 comments. At least it’s passed the time though?

P.s. if you’re looking for some good TikTok content, you may want to consider checking us out (a shameless bit of self promo): https://www.tiktok.com/@theedinburghtab