Clubbers of the Week: Keeping score in Week Four

Semester two is getting serious now, so as we move towards midterms, let’s take a look at what the students of Edinburgh’s fine universities have been doing when they should be working hard in the library.

Album cover of the week

Winner 

It’s giving geography teacher.

Runners Up

Oh to have blue VK shot into your mouth with a gold pistol.

The Spice Girls would have loved this.

Me when the DJ plays Mambo no.5.

Very coming-of-age film of you Love Wednesdays.

Rock and Roll babe.

Britney would have loved this chic Y2K moment.

Creeper of the Week

Winner

POV: this girl is hypnotising you into buying her a VK.

Runners Up

Thumbs up for looking terrified in the club!

Please seek help @ this man.

Not sure I like the attitude of the guy in the back – positive vibes only please!

Unimpressed, stressed, obsessed.

Ah, the classic lean in, pout, and ruin someone else’s photo.

Hero of the Week

Winner

The pied piper of Bourbon

Runners Up

“Mum! I hugged a girl last night!”

The pure, unrivalled joy of this picture is making my cold heart warm.

They say his head is actually a VK magnet…

A young king wearing pink socks, embracing his feminine side.

Heroine of the Week

Winner

“OMG BABE! They’re playing Venga boys!”

Runners Up

A beautiful queen being worshipped as she should.

Embarrassing yourself, but doing it in style.

This girl is living the dream.

I need tips on how to look this good while having drinks spilled on me.

Werk, slay, love it!

Mutant of the Week

Winner

Cheeky tongue pic gone wrong.

Runners Up

Interested to know where this guy has made this face before…

This guy just mutated into the Terminator.

Sir, please stop scaring the photographer.

Sir, please stop scaring the photographer (part 2).

Me when the DJ says no to playing the Horrible Histories x Megan Thee Stallion mash up.

Stunner of the Week

Winner

HOW is this girl’s hair so luscious??? Tips please.

Runners Up

Flawless, stunning, unreal.

Pengest friendship group award goes to…

Cowboy, but make it sexy.

Drake and Kanye could never look this good.

The girls at Flare were really going for it this week.

Peace and love all round.

A queen who knows she deserves the limelight.

Third-Wheel of the Week

Winner

Why is this man in the bottom right so cute??

Runners Up

I do not appreciate the energy that this man is bringing to this image.

Um mate, get out of this delightful girlie pic thanks.

A merging of two worlds: two pale boys plus four Bondi Sands queens.

Pink Cowboy man does not need you in this pic thanks hun x

Unhappy Clubbers

Winner

DJs when the fifth girl that night asks them to play the ten minute version of All Too Well.

Runners Up

A rah lad deffo just asked this man to play Dem Boi Paigon and he’s battling his feelings rn.

Cheer up babe x

Give us some side eye, but make it cool.

The further right they stand, the sadder they look 🙁

Wanker of the Week

Winner

“Yo mate take a pic of me with my tongue out, Tilly from Turner House will love that”

Runners Up

Heartbroken and enraged by the pain this guy is causing his friend 🙁 he looks scared leave him alone!

Guy on the left is the final boss of wearing Alexander McQueen trainers and a Canada Goose to the club.

The guy in the back is radiating SDE.

“So actually babe, ‘NFT’ means non-fungible token, and….”

There he is again, ruining everyone’s fun.

“Yah mate my dad’s sorting us out some Moet for later on, can you transfer me £20 even though I’m not paying for it?”

Sir, you are not a rascal if you have a haircut that shit and still wear stone island.

WTFs of the Week

Winner

This photo is a modern-day renaissance painting.

Runners Up

Throwing gang signs up in a student club, very appropriate.

Both of these people’s eyes are concerning me for different reasons.

Hashtag gay rights.

Is this a wink or a cry for help?

Bloke on the left deffo feeling the tunes.

A Christmas jumper in mid-February? Anna Wintour would be disgusted.

This man looks like a robot.

Best of the Rest

“Uuum Year 3?! Fingers on lips please”

Ahoy!

Second best looking friend group confirmed.

OMG kissing in a club? Ground-breaking.

Three young gentlemen having fun.

Carnage as per in Tamagotchi.

“Yeah I listen to really underground music, like y’know, Kanye and Drake? Donda is a sick album you should listen”

Thumbs up if you are tired of students requesting shit music.

Photo Credits:

Kealan Bond (Flare Monday and Love Wednesday)

Neil Stewart (Milk Tuesday, Rascals)

David Stewart (Tamagotchi Tuesday, Slice Saturday)

Thomas Michael (Hive)

Recommended related articles by this writer:

• Edinburgh Clubbers of the Week: Week two, return of the (J)edi

• Edinburgh Clubbers of the Week: the Nicky (Sturgeon) can’t hold us

• Here’s a round up of Edi’s best dressed at The Races 2022