The best and worst places to spend Valentine’s Day at Edinburgh Uni
Cheeky trip to Appleton Tower anyone?
When one thinks of romantic spots to go for cute dates at the University of Edinburgh, many will find all that springs to mind is the Lower Ground Floor of Appleton Tower. You can't say it wasn't passionate.
With Valentine's Day coming up, you may need inspiration as regards where to take that special person on a date that is student-friendly, cheap and romantic as fuck. Well, you've come to the right place, and will be gassed to learn that there is no need to look any further than George Square.
Scroll on to find a list of the best and worst places to take your date on campus this Valentine's Day.
The crème de la crème of spots for a romantic rendevous on campus
A dinner date on the eleventh floor of DHT
Drake was all over his Views from the 6, but has he ever been to the 11th floor of David Hume Tower? I think not. There are panoramic views for days up there of the whole city, but that is only once you have either waited an hour for the lift, or packed a week's worth of cardio into the climb up all those stairs. So chuck on your Gymshark leggings, grab your meal deal, and get ready for the most romantic, sky-high dinner date of your life.
A romantic stroll around Old College
Although not strictly George Square, the Edinburgh Law School is only a short walk away and is undoubtably Edi's fittest campus. Grab your date and go for a gentle meander through the rows of dusty, priceless statutes in the Law Library, admire the busts in the Playfair Gallery, and stop off for an intimate yet poor-quality coffee in the Law School cafe.
A naughty trip to the lower ground floor of Appleton Tower
Infamous for all the wrong reasons, this is the place to go if you want to take your date to the next level. For the sake of keeping this article PG, I won't go into detail, but just google the words 'Appleton Shaggers' to find inspiration as to what you can get up to on a date here.
A picnic in George Square Gardens
Arguably not the best time of year for a outdoor date, but the heart wants what the heart wants, and you have your lover to warm you up afterwards anyway. Grab your gloves, your Union of Genius soup, and get ready for a peaceful afternoon surrounded by greenery and the occasional glimpse of a man walking a ferret. SO romantic.
Not even 48 hrs in Edinburgh and I’ve already seen someone walking a ferret. Thank you Edinburgh. pic.twitter.com/B8GzSlPEdY
— Reuben R Kaye (@ReubenKaye) August 1, 2019
Fourth floor disabled loo in the Main Library
Another spot for the more animalistic and passionate lovers amongst you. The incredibly spacious disabled loo on the fourth floor of the library is the perfect place for you and your library crush to take five from "studying" cum people-watching. Just be sure you've definitely lifted and locked the handle (not that I would know).
The absolute worst places for dates on campus
Ting Thai Caravan
Ting Thai without a doubt takes the crown of the fittest food in and around campus. However, the caveat to enjoying a sexy as fuck Pad Thai there is that you usually have to queue for upwards of half an hour to get a table. Spending the majority of any date making awkward small talk in the rain over the sound of your stomach rumbling isn't exactly going to leave any heart aflutter.
The library cafe
The vibes here are just so off. The coffee is weaker than your ability to actually do any uni work, ever, and the aesthetic is genuinely more depressing than The Apprentice's Bridge Cafe. You will also bump into anyone and everyone from that creepy kid in your seminar who drinks milk from the carton, to your super intense Freshers' friend who always stands way too close. If your date wants to take you here, then trust me when I say it's a very good day to pull a sickie.
Getting decked by skateboarders in Bristo Square
McEwan Hall may be one of Edi's most impressive and aesthetic buildings, with many a nice bench to sit back on and admire it, but don't be fooled by the apparent serenity of Bristo Square at 9am. By the afternoon, there will be hundreds of out-of-control skateboarders whizzing around, with your coffee being knocked out of your hand being the best possible outcome. Losing a tooth or three as a result of inevitably being hit in the face by a rogue, flying skateboard isn't the best of looks on your romantic date.
A hideously unromantic yet intimate booth in DHT cafe
A date sat in a booth may sound romantic, but you're probably picturing an old-school romantic Danny and Sandy-style American Diner booth, staring lovingly into each other's eyes over your strawberry and vanilla milkshakes. The booths in the DHT cafe, however, are covered in crumbs, sticky from split coffees and surrounded by stampedes of students rushing in between lectures. These booths are probably one of the least romantic places to sit on campus, and you'll likely have to share it with a third person eating something offensive like Twiglets whilst angrily typing up an essay on their laptop. DHT cafe should be avoided at all costs on the 14th February.
A surprisingly sweaty climb up Arthur's Seat
A short walk away from George Square lies Arthur's Seat, the extinct volcano that stands tall and proud above the city of Edinburgh. We've all seen One Day and fancied a dreamy trip up to the top as a date but, Christ alive, is it a workout and a half. You'll end the date drenched in mud having slipped in your Nike Air Max, dripping in sweat from the climb and absolutely covered in chilblains from the arctic temperatures. In other words, you'll look munted, and the only kind of wet you'll be is from taking a long, hot shower post-climb. Take my advice, and stick to a simple coffee in Soderberg this Valentine's Day.