The girl who wrote a poem about her flatmate is BACK with a brand new banger

‘MacBook Girl’ is a savage takedown of Edi yahs


A couple of weeks ago, a third year student slid into our DMs asking if we could share a poem she had written with the world. The poem was called Energy Vampire and was all about the trials and tribulations of living with her nightmare flatmate.

The student turned to writing passive aggressive poetry in secret as a coping mechanism, instead of waging open warfare in her own flat. She also chose to remain anonymous for her own personal safety, saying: "I really hope she doesn't read the poem just for the fear."

Following the success of her first diss poem, the student reached out to The Edinburgh Tab again with a new poem called MacBook Girl, which is essentially a savage takedown of Edi yahs and their questionable interest in actually doing their degrees. MacBook Girl is as follows:

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It genuinely slaps

We spoke to the mystery student to find out more about her current situation in the flat following the publication of Energy Vampire, her inspiration for her newest poem, and where see sees her poetry taking her next.

First things first, do you know if your flatmate ever read the poem?

I don't THINK my flatmate ever read the poem although I can never be sure. I sincerely hope that if she did she would have just laughed along unsuspectingly – ignorance in this case is most definitely bliss.

What inspired you to write the sequel?

The sequel was born through yah-inspired fury – George Square is prime posho location and when I was sat in my tutorial the other day I was looking at them all on their Macs pretending to take notes and just thinking it's all right for some!!!

Do you own a MacBook yourself?

I don't own a MacBook I have an H.P lump which screams WARNING! MALWARE DETECTED every time I open it – maybe the whole poem actually stems from simple jealousy.

What’s next for you in terms of your poetry? Can you ever see yourself revealing all and finally taking the credit you very much deserve?

And I'm not sure "what's next" ha ha – I guess the next thing to annoy me, whatever that might be. I would love to reveal myself but I suppose you could say there's a certain thrill in staying undercover… it's like being 007 but way lamer.

Here's to hoping Edinburgh Uni's answer to Robert Burns continues to produce and share banger after banger of a diss poem, because frankly they are bloody brilliant.

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