It’s 2019 girls, buy a vibrator (or whatever floats your boat)

Find a dick that has 15 different settings, I dare you


A lot of people seem apprehensive to head into Ann Summers and pick up a sex toy – but in this day and age, you shouldn't feel embarrassed at all. Good dick comes and goes, but vibrators last forever (with a bit of looking after and money for batteries). If you haven't delved into temptation these days, here's why you should.

YOU DON'T NEED ANYBODY ELSE

Healthy sex relies on consent, as it very rightly should. Consent with a sex toy is readily available, as long as you don't use it on a bus or something – it's an opportunity to explore yourself and your own boundaries, and what makes solely you happy. You get to be selfish! Enjoy it!

Dick comes and goes

Your new boyf given you the best sex of your life? I hope it lasts forever, but honey, it probably won't. One part of being fully independent is knowing how to get yourself off, because in a break up it's not just the heart you're gonna miss.

Your fingers don't get tired

Just gonna put it out there – masturbating can tire you out. With a vibrator, you can just turn the setting on and keep hold – it's great.

(Nearly) no risk of STIs

You don't need to put a condom on (as long as you don't share it, which I wouldn't recommend) and you're not gonna catch anything from yourself. This is a gold mine for risk free orgasms, so indulge in it. Safe orgasms are happy orgasms.

Dicks don't have 15 different settings, do they?

Dicks can do great things. But do they have seven different speeds, 10 different intensities, or even little rabbit ears to sort the clit out? No -instead you have a boy awkwardly trying to pump his dick whilst reaching his thumb to your clit. Vibrators nearly always do it better. No matter how good your man is, technology really has gone wild.

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Have you tried the Moregasm+ range?

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They're definitely not small

I'm not one for penetrative vibrators, but if you like really big dicks, you can find a toy to suit you if you have a spare 30 quid. Plus there'll be no unpleasant surprises inside the box.

They're student friendly

Ann Summers has a 25 percent student discount – just saying.

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She couldn't be any happier

They're good for your mental health

It's a good release of emotion, an orgasm. Helps you clear the mind.

Feminism!

Don't be ashamed! Male masturbation may have been normalised – but we have stronger orgasms, and have invented these little beauties to help you along the way. Happy wanking!