‘I have been groped a number of times’: Edinburgh boys tell us about their experiences of sexual assault

Recently, we spoke to female Edinburgh students, asking them to recount their experiences of sexual harassment in Edinburgh. The contributions revealed that this continues to be a massive issue in Edinburgh.

However, there is still a taboo surrounding the sexual harassment of men. The discourse surrounding male accounts can become warped, like the portrayal of the ideal "macho" man in the media suggesting men are more capable to defend themselves against this, and that they should laugh sexual misconduct off as harmless.

This is blatantly false – it can happen to everyone, and the harmful consequences hold across all genders. Although it doesn't happen to men in the same alarming numbers as it does to women, the validity and significance of it as an issue are all the same – as the following accounts show.

Tom*

I have been groped a number of times at nightclubs in Edinburgh. I view it as part of going to nightclubs, that someone is going to grope my ass or crotch. Most of the time it is a woman around my age, early 20s, as those are the kind of clubs I go to. More rarely, it is an older man. I just ignore it, it is annoying, but it is always inside a relatively crowded club so I never feel threatened. I am able to just move to a different area of the club away from the groper, and I do just that.

Josh*

I went to a local gay club with lots of my friends that I'd been to plenty of times in the past. I drank a lot as it was our last day of term, and didn’t really have my wits about me. Next thing I know, I’ve lost all my friends and I'm being crowded by a group of about eight men all touching me and pushing me towards the bar to buy me drinks. I had to fake a getting a phone call to get away from it as I felt really uncomfortable. I then went upstairs to the smoking terrace on the roof, and the next thing I know a much older man is propping me up and kissing me, saying all kinds of gross things about how attractive I was. Seemingly no one thought anything of it as it was a gay club and I looked like I was stood up.

As soon as I realised what was happening (as I was so drunk I literally couldn’t stand at the time unassisted), I bolted it for the front door sobbing. Luckily my friend saw me running down the stairs and took me home. I haven't gone back to the club since, as every time I think about it it's a massive trigger. I don’t blame anyone for what happened that night apart from the gross men who did it, as I was far too drunk to even come close to consenting. I'm just glad I came to when I did, or I'm sure it could've ended much worse.

Alex*

I was on a night out and got separated from my friends, when this guy came up to me who seemed nice enough. We started dancing and it was fine – until he pulled my trousers down and suddenly stuck his head in my crotch.

I pushed him to the ground and was then surrounded by his mates who starting trying to have a fight with me, so I ran off. It's interesting because when I tell that story, people laugh and I laugh about it too. It's a funny story rather than a fairly traumatising thing, like I feel it would be if I were a girl.

Sid*

I was at Big Cheese with some friends, and suddenly this girl came up and grabbed my crotch. My instinctive reaction was to raise my arms up, as if I was the one doing something wrong. She then did the same thing to my other male friend. We laughed about it afterwards, which is odd given I don't think it would be that funny if it had happened to a girl.

*Names have been changed to protect anonymity