Buckle up kids, it’s cuffing season: Here’s how to survive it

Hello darkness my old friend


It’s been creeping up all year, but the changing of the leaves signals that time of year is upon us. Ladies and gents, cuffing season is back.

Suddenly everywhere you look is infested with couples – uni, pubs and every night out. The latter consisting of far more DMCs with your drunk friend as she says for the 100th time: “I’m not asking for the one, but having someone would be nice”.

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And, quite worryingly, none of your mates are free any more because they’re having a quiet night in with their new other half. Please guys, don’t be snakes and just come to the pub.

So here’s a few things that explain why everyone, suddenly wants to be tied down, and how you can come out of it on the other side – sanity intact.

Cold weather

The sudden baltic temperatures are half the reason being alone seems to be a whole lot worse than it was a month ago. The days are also shorter and darker, and some psychological studies have found that we are actually primed to find a mate in the winter time.

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Fat mood

So the flat arguments of when to turn the heating on hide that the ideal situation is cuddling with that special someone for some extra body heat.
And as much as you love your flat mates, cuddling with them just won’t cut it.

I say just get a hot water bottle, it's less high maintenance.

Christmas time

It’s a time of love. Michael Bublé comes out of hiding, the Christmas market opens, and brings with it a hotspot for blossoming lovers. And we’d be lying if we said going on an ice skating date wasn't a dream weekend activity.

It’s a massive cliché, and Christmas is shaped as the ideal setting for finding the one. Finding romance is shoved down our throats by social media and festive marketing. But to be fair we all want that Love Actually scene with Rick Grimes and Kiera Knightley.

The number of dates spotted around Edi definitely escalate in the run up to the 25th, and I’m sure it’s a similar story on dating apps. But like puppies, relationships aren’t just for Christmas, so be careful who you scoop up on Tinder.

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Smug bastards

But remember; no partner equals not having to buy them a present. And if you just starting seeing them, it’s the added faff of what you even get them. You don’t even know their middle name. Instead you can spend it on the over-priced snacks at the Christmas market. It’s a win-win guys.

Nights in

It’s too cold to be making the trek to the clubs and the student loan needs to make it to the end of term, so a night in it is.

Being wrapped up in layers of blankets with none other than your flat mates and fellow singletons starts to become more frequent. And you question if it’s that sad to be watching The Holiday for the fifteenth time on a Friday night.

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Just the essentials

This is when the perils of cuffing season become apparent. Your mate comes too close to texting that guy from last year, who she’s now decided wasn’t as bad as she thought, with a “you up x”. Please don’t do it boys and girls, you’ll quickly be reminded why you never messaged before.

Hope is not lost

This season can be a tough one, but once we get past Valentine’s day, normality will be restored and the winter relationship will start to fizzle out in time to be "single for summer".

So hold tight single pringles, and don’t be glum. If anything it’s less hassle and your student loan won’t take a beating from any dates or gift-giving. But if you have managed to find a new bae in this season, just wondering how you managed it? Asking for a friend…